Christmas this year was definitely a success. On Christmas Eve I spent some time with three of my favorite girls. We decided not to exchange gifts, and I had the idea that we should make lists of our top ten favorite things about each other. It ended up being pretty emotional. We kept saying that we never realized people thought those things about us. It was definitely one of the best things about Christmas this year. Except that Nina told Rachel she wasn't going to do it, and then when she saw us she lied and said she forgot. That really pissed me off. If she didn't want to do it, she should have just said so in the first place. I almost called her out on it, but I didn't want there to be a big ugly scene. And I felt that some justice was served in the form of mousse from a bakery that Rachel bought for us, which she told Nina was gluten-free, even though it was not. Haha.

For church that night, we went to my old church, the church my great-grandfather was pastor at that I grew up in. It was actually kind of sad. The congregation fell apart several years ago because of a lying pastor. There's a new pastor now who seems like a great guy, but it's just not the same. The organist played really quietly, which was awkward because then you felt like you had to sing quietly. The guy who did all the readings kept mispronouncing words like lineage and betrothed, and it was pretty hilarious. My aunt made a face at me (she is famous for her funny faces) and I cracked up. Since I was trying not to laugh out loud, I blew snot out of my nose and had to run to the bathroom. This was good, because I needed to calm myself down. Then it was time for me to sing. I was asked to do Away in a Manger, which I was not particularly excited about, especially when I got there and found out they were already singing it as a hymn during the service. The performance was all right, but my mom made an odd comment afterwards. Usually she says "You sounded like Judy Garland" (which is the highest praise from her; she loves Judy Garland), or "You sounded like Julie Andrews." This time she said, "You sounded like Carrie Underwood; you know when she sings that song about destroying that guy's car." I'm not sure what to make of that.

We went back to my parents' house and exchanged gifts. I got a necklace from Anthropologie I'd been wanting and a big gift set of Pure Grace items. I was really excited about that. Then I headed back to my apartment, because I actually really love waking up alone on Christmas morning. I slept in and sat around in my pajamas drinking hot chocolate, eating Christmas cookies, and watching the Stephen Colbert Christmas special. What could be better?

The whole family reconvened at my aunt's house that afternoon. This time our extended family exchanged gifts. My cousin Katie got me a book called "The Big Ass Book of Crafts" that I am really excited about. And then, it was time for the surprise. We waited till all the gifts were opened, then I told my parents there was one more gift. My aunt videotaped them as the opened a book about Alaska and found their travel itinerary tucked inside. I was so nervous I was sick to my stomach. We were all waiting for my dad's signature phrase, "G--dammit, Erin!" I started to explain that we were sending them on vacation to Alaska, and they immediately protested, "Oh honey, that's nice, but..." and then I mentioned it was already paid for. This announcement was met with complete silence. It was kind of anticlimactic. My cousin Michael was hoping for a big fight he could post on YouTube, but it was just quiet. I think they were kind of overwhelmed. My mom said she needs a few days to think about it. My dad said that all my debts are canceled (I seriously owe him so much money) and said, "You better not have gone into debt doing this." I replied that I hadn't put it on a credit card, which was as honest as I could be, since some of it was paid for with student loans. Irresponsible yes, but they deserve it. My dad finally said thank you, and now they're trying to figure out how to get there. They hate flying, so they're looking into taking a train. It will be interesting to see what happens. I'm just so glad they're not mad. They definitely didn't look happy at first, and my grandma tried to console them by saying, "Don't worry, you'll get through it." Hilarious. Like a vacation is some hardship to be endured.

The rest of Christmas was lovely as well. We watched old home movies from the 40's and 50's, and later ones as well, where Michael made a lot of noise, Andy started gun fights, I picked my nose and talked nonstop, and Katie just looked cute. Good times.

And now, I'm getting ready to leave for Florida!

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God
You've been promised, we've been waiting
Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child

Hope that you don't mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long-awaited Holy Stranger
Make Yourself at home
Please make Yourself at home

Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven's silence
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world

Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born

So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy
Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world

We sang this song one year for Lessons and Carols at Concordia, and I think it is one of my favorite choral pieces ever. I think our director did a better job conducting, but I think this choir probably sounds better than we did. My favorite was the "beautiful virgin" part. A lot of the time, when you're singing in a different language, you're not thinking about each word that you're singing. But with this song, I knew what all the words meant in English, so it was really meaningful. And I think the text is just beautiful.

Original Text
O magnum mysterium
et admirabile sacramentum,
ut animalia viderent Dominum natum,
jacentem in præsepio.

Beata virgo, cujus viscera meruerunt
portare Dominum Christum, Alleluia!

English
O great mystery
and wondrous sacrament,
that animals should see the newborn Lord
lying in their manger.

Blessed is the Virgin whose womb was worthy
to bear the Lord Jesus Christ. Alleluia!

Silent Night was always the last hymn we’d sing at our church’s candlelight service on Christmas Eve. Sometimes we’d sing in German, which my grandma loved since she grew up speaking German. One year my whole family went to Willow Creek’s Christmas service, which also ends with Silent Night. Their tradition is that you have to tell the people you’re with that you love them by the end of the song. I thought, “This is not happening.” My family is not very demonstrative. I was shocked when my brother (who, at the time, was causing all sorts of trouble and was angry at all of us all the time) hugged us all, said “I love you,” and put his arms around us as we sang. All four of us stood there with our arms around each other singing Silent Night, and it was one of the most beautiful moments our family has had.

Okay, I chose this one more because I love the movie. This is the second time I've gone to see it at the Music Box Theater. This year I took my mom, and we had a lovely time. My dad dropped her off last night, and she did my dishes and rearranged my closet with the Huggable Hangers she brought me. This morning I took her to see Jorge, the guy who does my hair, and for the first time in her life, she has a fabulous haircut. She's always just gone to Great Clips before. Just as I suspected, she loves it and says she will never go back to Great Clips. It was so fun to see her so excited.

After the haircut, we met my friend Kelly for lunch at Uncommon Ground, one of my favorite restaurants. Then we walked to the theater, which was just a few blocks away. Before the movie starts, there is caroling led by Santa. It's very festive; everyone has jingle bells and antlers or Santa hats. The crowd cheers when the movie starts and is very vocal throughout it- singing along, hissing when Rosemary Clooney gets mad at Bing Crosby, cracking up during the goofy dance where Rosemary Clooney sings that love didn't do right by her. Some people were even throwing fake snow on each other during the snow song. It's just such a fun time; I know it's something I'll look forward to every year. And White Christmas is now one of my favorite movies.

When we walked out of the theater, it was snowing so beautifully. How cool is that? Unfortunately, I still didn't have boots. It turned out my mom doesn't have boots either (seriously, what is wrong with the two of us?), so we went to DSW and she treated both of us to boots- Rocket Dogs for me and Roxy for her. A fabulous end to a fabulous day. I love it when my mom comes to visit.

Here's a scene from White Christmas:

I have always thought this song was just so beautiful and peaceful. You know when it snows at night, and it's flakes that are so huge they look like cotton balls, and everything outside is so quiet? When it snows like that, my mom always says it's just like this song. My parents have a gorgeous backyard. The back of it is lined with huge evergreen trees, so when it snows, it is picturesque. When I hear this song, I picture snow falling in my parents' backyard.

Here's another random video. I'm kind of enjoying looking for all these videos on YouTube. I'm finding some pretty hilarious stuff.

This hymn isn't anything original or unique. It was always just something we sang every Advent in church. I always liked it because there's something about the melody that made it feel good to sing. But last year I really listened to the words and fell in love with it. The words are so full of hope. It makes me think of how eagerly people were anticipating the Messiah and the expectations they had for him. Emmanuel means "God with us," and the Jews desperately wanted God to be with them again.

So here's a random recording I found on YouTube.



O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

So I just started listening to Christmas music yesterday. Not sure why, just haven't really been in the mood. But I heard one of my favorite songs at the store and couldn't wait to go home and download it. I started downloading other favorites and thinking about each song's significance. So I decided that each day, from now till Christmas, I will write about a favorite Christmas song and post the lyrics on my blog. I'll try to post a video too, so the song can be heard and not just read about it.

The song I heard yesterday was "Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song)" by Amy Grant. I grew up listening to Amy Grant and singing her songs in church. Looking back, many of them are so awful, but I still love them. But this one has withstood the test of time, at least for me. I sang this song several times for Christmas at my church when I was younger. The first time I did it was freshman year of high school, and I remember my voice teacher making me get down on my knees to sing it because it would make me feel more like I was praying. I got really into it and performed it on my knees, too. (Luckily, I sang from the balcony, so no one saw me.) I think that was the perfect age to be singing this song. I imagined what it would be like to be pregnant at that age and going through everything Mary went through. I love the part when she wonders if someone wiser should have had her place, then says, "But I offer all I am for the mercy of your plan." Anyway, I still get emotional singing along to it.

The video I'm posting is just the song playing. I found some other videos on YouTube, but I wasn't crazy about any of them.




I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I've done.
Holy Father You have come,
And chosen me now to carry Your Son.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me Your holiness,
For You are holy.
Breath of heaven.

Do You wonder as You watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me Your holiness,
For You are holy.

My mom found my copy of A Very Brady Christmas. I can take that off my list.

The crayon throwing stopped today. I told my kids it would be an automatic after-school detention if they were caught throwing crayons. That seemed to work.

I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping and gift making.

In two weeks, I will be in Florida- drinking cherry limeades, shopping at Dillards, wearing my favorite white flowy skirt and flip flops, eating my uncle's cooking, laying on the beach, and going to Disney World.

So you know how I said that for the first time in my life, I was choosing to not complete an assignment? That didn't work out so well. The prof called me and left a message last Thursday listing the assignments I needed to turn in last night. (I was a little behind since I missed a week.) At class last night, she went around and checked each person's folder. When she asked me where Reflection #4 was, I was like, "I'm sorry. I couldn't do it. I've never purposely not done an assignment before, but I just couldn't do it." She said, "Well, I can give you till Friday..." And I was like, "Thank you, but I'll just take whatever grade I deserve without that paper." But she kept insisting that I email it to her by Friday.

So today I came home from work, seriously considering not doing it, telling myself I wouldn't have to face her again. And there in my inbox was an email from her reminding me to do the paper. I submitted it a few hours later, and she wrote back that now my record can stay unblemished. She is hardcore. I've never met a prof who cared so much about my grade.

3 classes down, 7 more to go.

My principal observed me today, and I was so nervous about how my students would behave. But two of my worst kids transferred out, and another one was sick, so it actually wasn't that bad. God was really looking out for me. My principal had a few suggestions for improvement, and I'm excited to try out some of her ideas. I don't mind being evaluated by her because I know she's not out to get me; she honestly wants to help me be a better teacher. She gave me the best compliment today. She said, "What I like about you, Miss B, is that you have lots of great ideas and are passionate about what you do. You're always willing to try new things and you never give up." That really meant a lot to me. I love Ms. Franklin like Ramona loves Miss Binney.

1. Dress from Anthropologie


2. More bookshelves for my apartment.

3. Hat

4. Pure Grace perfume


5. I want my dad to shave his mustache.

6. Spending money for Florida

7. Homemade Rice Crispy treats with vegan marshmallows

8. Someone to clean my house

9. Desk from Crate and Barrel

10. A Very Brady Christmas (I lost my copy!)

11. Dixie Chicks c.d.



12. A Disney painting



13. Debrett's Etiquette for Girls


14. Mystery Case Files: MillionHeir for DS


15. Orange slices

16. Another tattoo

17. Tickets to Madama Butterfly at the Lyric Opera

Okay, I think I figured out why the crayon thing was so funny to me. It reminded me of this article in the Onion from years ago. I don't know why it stuck in my head, but it's hilarious.

My Charlie Brown Christmas Tree has met its demise. I would share a picture, but my camera's broken, too. I knocked it over yesterday and the red ornament shattered everywhere.

I wanted to take a picture of a scene in my classroom today, too. I heard someone mention crayons and jumped all over them, but it was too late... the idea had been planted. There was a sniper attack. Broken crayons littered the landscape of my classroom. They were all concentrated in one corner- all colors of the rainbow, some smeared across the floor. Jordan was yelling about getting hit in the face, and I imagined him saying, "I'm hit! I'm hit!" My classroom is a war zone.

I'm doing something I've never done before. I'm choosing to not complete a homework assignment. I've gotten perfect scores on everything else, and I figured that without this paper, I could still get a 96% in the class. It is a strange feeling. I've always done all my work. I've always wanted to get the highest grade possible. With my first master's, I was determined to get straight A's. With this master's, I just want the certification so I can be a reading teacher. I don't care if I get straight A's. Well, I guess I kind of do. Because I wouldn't skip this assignment if I couldn't still get an A without it. But I just can't handle writing this stupid paper on top of all the other stress in my life.