I'm feeling like a total loser tonight.

Last night, Ryan and I were supposed to watch a movie together. I texted him after class and he said he was out to dinner with a supplier and could we do it today. (I think he was lying; I got home and saw there was a Steelers game on.) Since we had originally planned on going to a wine tasting tonight, I was free, so I said yes. I looked forward to it all day. I came home from the gym, showered, made dinner, made myself look nice, looked at the clock, and wondered why he hadn't called yet. When we first started hanging out, he always called and followed through with plans. I never had to be the one to call him. So finally I texted him around 8. He asked what I was up to and what I'd been up to today. When I asked about the movie, he said it was late and he was tired because he had a meeting at 6:30 this morning. This, coming from the guy who stayed out with me till 2:00 a.m. on weeknights this summer. So whatever, I know he's definitely not into me.

Then I texted Pete, and he called, and when I told him I had been all dressed up with nowhere to go, he invited me out on his date with him. There was no way I was doing this for several reasons: 1. He had already been telling me about his girl and how sure he was of going home with her tonight. I didn't want to be the third wheel. 2. I was already in my pajamas, contacts out, doing dishes. I didn't want to get dressed up again. But he was very sincere in his invitation and made an effort to persuade me. It was sweet, but made me feel pathetic.

Whatever. I had a productive evening (I cooked! And did dishes!). I have a lovely weekend ahead of me. Tomorrow night I'm going to watch I Love You Man. Saturday I'm going hiking at Matthiessen State Park, then going to my friend's birthday party at The Spot that night. (Unfortunately, Ryan will be there, which makes me feel uncomfortable since he obviously doesn't like me. But after a few French Martinis, I probably won't care.) Sunday I get to go out to lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a while, then I might go to the Bucktown Arts Fest. It's going to be fabulous.