The Adventures of Kinky Reggae: A Vagabond for Beauty

when you think you've got things figured out with a person, do they have to go and be confusing and say stuff about wanting to marry you? Even if it was just joking around. There's been a lot of joking lately about why we shouldn't get married, and then all of a sudden, he's telling me about why the other girls in his life aren't working out, so if he decides to settle down, I'm at the top of his list. To which, I replied (of course) that it would never work. Weird. I am going to burrow myself into a nice cozy place of denial. Just act like nothing weird was said. Because sometimes, it's easiest to slip back into my high school philosophy of dealing with stuff- If I don't deal with it, it will go away. P.S. I am not talking about Ryan.

Before Christmas, for some unfathomable reason, I was in a funk. I hate when this happens, especially when there's no good reason for it. So, Thursday night before break, I booked a flight to Phoenix and left Saturday morning. As soon as I got off the plane, I felt like I could breathe again. (I'm getting into a bad habit of hopping on planes when I freak out. I need to stop spoiling myself.) I took this picture on the plane; I think it's Kansas. I just thought it looked really cool. Mico (Rachel's boyfriend who I'm pretty sure she is going to marry) picked me up at the airport. I had every intention of staying on my diet on this trip until he said, "How do you feel about margaritas?" He was afraid I would judge him because it was only 10:30 a.m., but I was on vacation, so I was all about the day drinking. That night we went to Mico's parents' house. His mom is Mexican and was making tamales. I knew it was a process, but I'd never experienced i

Let me tell you, there is an epidemic out there. I've made out with a lot of boys, especially in high school. (Please notice that I said "made out with" and not "slept with." I was/am a good girl. Until I met TJ. Because I thought I was going to marry him.) Anyway, after dealing with yet another bad kisser tonight, I realized that I can only think of one good kisser since like, high school. Even guys I've liked/dated. Chuck was not a great kisser, but I loved him so I overlooked it. What's wrong with these guys? Is it because they're in a hurry, hoping it will lead to something else? Do they honestly think their technique is enjoyable/acceptable? I am tired of guys with mushy lips, guys who slobber all over your face, and guys who rape your mouth. This is just ridiculous. You would think they would get better with age, but I have not found this to be true. Maybe it's just not as important to them anymore; maybe kissing has lost the excitement it

The rest of Christmas was delightful. Here is a pic from Christmas Eve that I really like- it is typical Mom and Dad. Dad is trying to fix a broken gift, and Mom is super excited about all the mushroom gifts she's receiving. This is Christmas Day at Aunt Kathy's. Andy is ridiculous, as usual, and I think Grandma is confused about her gift. Mike and Katie seemed happy with their flavored vodka. And here is the traditional grandchildren pic. I love that Jen is part of it now.

I got a new computer! Nothing fancy, just something to get me through the next two years or so till I can afford a nice Macbook. For now, I need to put my money towards paying off credit cards. Aren't I responsible? (Yeah right... If I was repsonsible, I wouldn't have just gone to Phoenix for 5 days.) So Christmas Eve was perfect and lovely. I was really nervous I wouldn't make it back in time. But my flight got in at 2:00, so I had just enough time to go home, finish wrapping gifts, and make it out to Naperville in time for dinner with my family. My brother was too tired for church (he'd worked all day), so it was just me and my parents. I love their church, and they had a beautiful Christmas Eve service. I love singing in between my parents; my dad has this rich, beautiful voice, and my mom is an alto, so she harmonizes. The sermon was about expectations, and the pastor focused on the line "The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight." So I

So my computer just crashed as I was finishing that post. FML. But I just wanted to say that Ryan has called or texted each day since we made up. To quote one of my favorite songs, "the world's all as it should be."

I mean, really, what did you expect? I don't stay mad at people for long. It cracked me up when Paula and I were talking and she was like, "Remember that time in college when I told your parents you were up to no good? I think you didn't talk to me for like, a day." And I still remember thinking about how Paula must have felt, and I just couldn't stay mad. I haven't been mad at Ryan for a while now, just hurt. Hurt at first by the things he said and did, then hurt again by the fact that our friendship apparently meant so little to him. I knew it was important for me to decide what I wanted out of all this, and I realized that the answer to that was for him to be sorry. That was it. I didn't even need the words; I just needed to know that he honestly felt bad about what he did. Here's what happened. Sorry, it's going to be a long story. He texted me on Wednesday, acting like everything was fine. I was short with him. This went on for a fe

My mom's been asking what to get me for Christmas, so I'm putting together this list. I know she already got me the number one thing I wanted, (the new Winnie the Pooh book!!!!), so that's really all I need to be happy. But, if I could have some other stuff, I would like... Books: DeBrett's Etiquette for Girls Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal Movies: Peter Pan Beauty and the Beast Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist Music: The Dixie Chicks Perfume: Dior J'adore Video Game: New Super Mario Bros Purple Shoes: Flats from Boden And, of course: Just kidding.

Before school even started this morning, the art teacher said she was going to start calling me Miss Sunshine because I am always cheerful. (Oh, if only she knew...) One of my second graders said to me, "Ms. B., when you woke up this morning, did you look out the window at the snow and just want to stay in bed?" "Yes," I replied. "It would have been a great day to sleep in." "I could tell by your eyes," he said. "You have sleepy eyes, just like my mama gets sometimes. They're all small." Thanks. Then the kindergartners came, and I did a mini-lesson on describing things. I said, "If you went home and said, 'My reading teacher is Ms. B., and this is what she looks like,' what would you say?" Their answers were cute, beautiful, hot, and Mexican. Love it. I spent the afternoon introducing kids to the book Love That Dog , one of the best books ever. My Monday afternoon class that used to be a nightmare is now ac

I just finished putting together a 3-hour workshop for parents of Pre-K through 2nd grade parents. It's all about what parents can do at home to help their kids be better readers. It was an assignment for school, but my principal is actually going to let me present it this spring, so I put much more effort into it. I'm really excited about this workshop. I know that parent turn-out is always a struggle, and that most of the parents that come probably won't use many of the ideas, but even if just one parent learns something new and uses it, that's one more student who will be a little further ahead in reading. Most of our parents do not even read to their kids at home. I really hope this workshop will make a difference for at least a few parents. If any of my friends with kids want copies of the PowerPoint or handouts, let me know and I can send it to you.

I've been doing Weight Watchers for a few months now, and I'm officially down 15 pounds. I'm very excited. 25 pounds more left to lose. I'm hoping to reach my goal by the end of the school year.

When I was a kid, I loved the Mandie books . They were these Christian historical mystery novels. Mandie lived at the turn of the century in North Carolina and hung out with both Native Americans and rich white people and was always stumbling upon mysteries that she would solve with her friends and her cat, Snowball. And when she was in dangerous situations, she would recite Bible verses. I wanted to be Mandie. She was so cool. I also thought that Mandie was the most beautiful name in the world. Even as an 8-year-old, I recognized that the quality of writing was not the best, but I didn't care because the stories were good. And even when I outgrew children's lit, I continued to read every new Mandie book that came out because I had to see what my favorite characters were up to. Sadly, the author died a few years ago, so there will be no more books. But imagine my joy when I found out there was a Mandie movie !!! I just finished watching it and really liked it. It'

Since I am finally done with Practicum I and only have one project left to finish for my Reading and Language Theory class, I decided to spend the evening relaxing with the latest issue of my favorite magazine, Bust . In this issue, I read about: Fat women on reality shows A new version of roller derby called Derby Lite A global O that will be occurring on December 21-22 Recipes for finger foods to serve at holiday parties How to make your own yarn Asheville, NC (now I want to move there even more...) Amy Poehler's views on feminism Divorce ranches in Nevada from the 1930's through the 1960's (it used to be really hard to get a divorce, and Nevada had laws that made it super easy) Homemade Christmas gift ideas A guide to "handling some of life's major milestones- marriage, childbirth, and death- with a DIY frame of mind" The monthly "One-handed read" column And of course, there are the fashion and beauty sections. Also, book, movie, and music revie

Christmas decorations: done.

Last Sunday night I got to go to my first Bears game. Khalia and I won tickets through a raffle at Big Brothers Big Sisters, and we were in the SECOND ROW. It was amazing. We were so close we could smell the turf. It felt so intimate, like we were just hanging out watching some guys play football. It all looked so small, too. On TV, the goal posts look so big; you wonder how the players can miss field goals. But in person, I wondered how they EVER make field goals. The whole field felt so tiny. Here's when they were running out onto the field. Here's when they were walking back into the locker rooms for halftime. Random shots from the game: Of course, the pics don't do it justice. The Bears ended up losing, but it was still amazing. I hope we get to go again sometime.

Well, there were no fires this year, so, you know, that was good. We just have a lot of fun together. I'm so lucky to have a family with no crazy drama. My grandma and aunt argue, but it's just because my aunt worries and my grandma is stubborn and independent. And they make funny faces behind each other's backs, and the best part is that the faces they make are pretty much identical. This year, as usual, we had tons of delicious food, and I didn't count Weight Watchers points at all. Andy was at his girlfriend's parents' house and missed dinner, but they managed to make it back in time for dessert. (There were 7 pies for just the 10 of us!) I was so glad they joined us; it wasn't the same without Andy and Jen. Katie brought Apples to Apples, which we had a blast playing. Michael shared some hilarious YouTube videos with me. (I finally understand the whole joke about being on a boat!) It was just a really nice day. So now we officially start the ho

Freshman year of college, my friends and I began a tradition. We were all home for Thanksgiving, and that Wednesday night we all gathered at my friend Dave's house. We wanted to go out to eat, but it was late, so we decided to cook. And it became a very ambitious meal that required a lot of time and preparation. The preparation was the best part- Tim was throwing pasta at the walls to see if it was cooked, Nina had an incident where she shook a Ziploc baggie that wasn't closed, and its contents went flying all over the kitchen... Finally, around 1 a.m., we sat down to eat in the dining room. It was very formal compared to what we were used to, and just perfectly wonderful. I'll never forget sitting there at the table, thinking how lucky I was to have these people in my life. It was me, Nina, Tim, Rachel A., and Dave. Things have changed a lot since then. Dave no longer dates Rachel A. (and I no longer talk to her). Tim died. Dave married Sarah, who is part of the

Oh my gosh, I can't freaking wait for tomorrow. I've been rereading the book this week to prepare. I'm actually kind of nervous to see the movie; this book is so dark. It's hard to read because Bella's pain is so real to me. (I think that shows what a great writer Stephenie Meyer is.) Most of us have been through bad break-ups, and she captures that so well. When I broke up with CTF, I took Nyquil all the time so I could just sleep and not deal with reality. Reading New Moon brings back all those memories. And the way Bella does so much dangerous stuff just to hear Edward's voice? It is messed up, but I totally understand it. When I read this book, I desperately want to get on a motorcycle. I also fall in love with Jacob a little more each time I read it. I love how attuned he is to Bella, like the part where they're in the car, and Mike asks him to turn on some music, and he replies that Bella doesn't like music. He just notices every little

Tim has been on my mind a lot this week, for obvious reasons. I actually started blogging with consistency not long after he died, but I never wrote about it. So here is Tim's story. (Tim and CTF (my ex) on our trip to Yosemite.) Tim started dating Nina senior year of high school. He was in the Navy and stationed at Great Lakes, and they met at a party. Tim was in the Navy because he got caught breaking into a car in a police station parking lot, trying to steal money to buy meth. This was in a small town in California, so the police gave him the option of the military or jail. When he met Nina, he was still partying and doing drugs, but staying away from meth. At the end of senior year, he was stationed in Virginia, and Nina followed him out there for the summer. It was during this time that he did meth again, had a random drug test, and was kicked out of the Navy. Nina brought him home with her, and he moved in with her family. He got a job, went to school, and was basic