The Adventures of Kinky Reggae: A Vagabond for Beauty

Throughout the day, my thoughts started to fall into place. I’ve thought about things and had conversations with people that have helped me see what I need to do. 1. I am not going to interview in Minneapolis. I don’t want to go there, so why even interview? I shouldn’t try to make myself live somewhere just because I feel like I should. Settling is never a good idea. 2. My first choice is to be asked back by my district. I really don’t want to have to disrupt my life TOO much. But, if they don’t ask me back by the time Phoenix makes me an offer next month… 3. I am moving to Phoenix. Yes, there are a lot of negatives, but there are positives, too. Having a support system there is huge. And while I complain about all the brown, I could find an apartment complex with grass. My parents bought a new car and said they will come visit. I feel like my life is kind of stagnate here; I’m excited at the thought of trying something new and living somewhere different. I will miss Chicago like craz

After attending a board meeting tonight, it looks like I will be losing my job. There are still a few things up in the air, but given the way things stand right now, I need to start searching. I got what I kind of wanted, only I realized that I didn't want this at all. If I moved, I wanted it to be on my own terms. I'm going to a job fair in Iowa on Saturday and one in Michigan next month. They will have schools from all over the country. So, where should I go?

I am super excited for Belize, no doubt about it. But as it gets closer, I am starting to freak out. I think maybe I need some therapy. Snorkeling is first on the agenda. This sounds amazing (I've never done it), but then it occurred to me that the ocean is DEEP. I know how to swim, but I don't like deep water. When I imagine that moment where I jump off the boat into the water, I feel like I can't breathe. Next, we are going cave tubing. I was so excited to see these beautiful caves. But then I started thinking about how DARK it will be. I think it may feel kind of claustrophobic floating through 7 MILES OF CAVES with only your headlamp for light. We are also going for a jungle hike. I have an honest-to-goodness phobia of butterflies and moths. If you have ever seen me around them, you know I'm not just being silly. So then it occurred to me that those suckers are HUGE down in central America. My friend Liz has been to Belize, and she told me tonight that there are BIG

When I went to see Donald Miller at Willow Creek last week, we sang a song called “Changed.” I’ve been thinking about the words to this song all week. I listen to it on my way to and from work every day. Here is a video of the worship team at Willow singing it about a year ago: One of the lines that really jumped out to me is “In Jesus’ name… we are chosen, adopted, and named.” Since I’ve been feeling like God is totally indifferent to me, this line was pretty profound. I thought about what it’s like to be adopted and how glad I am that being God’s daughter is part of my identity. Another part I love is the chorus: I have been blessed, now I want to be a blessing I have been loved, now I want to bring love I’ve been invited, I want to share the invitation I have been changed to bring change I love the theology this writing comes out of, all the stuff about how faith without works is dead. If we truly have faith in what Christ did for us, then we are changed, and we should use that joy

Sorry, I don't have anything happy to say. I'm concerned about all the budget cuts in education. Apparently the only thing that kept us going last year was some big grant from the federal government. Now that's gone, and the governor's new budget would take away all our state aide. So our governor is trying to raise taxes to get more money for education. There are several problems with this. Of course no one wants more taxes, and it looks like that money wouldn't necessarily go towards education anyway. So if they don't raise taxes, we're totally screwed. If they do, it's still not a sure thing. In my district, this will result in the loss of our Pre-K program, a school closing, and all non-tenured teachers being let go. Today I heard that even tenured teachers may be laid off. But we won't know for sure until March 24. At first, I saw this as an exciting opportunity to move somewhere new and start over. But then I started doing some research, an

I am currently reading "Life of the Beloved" by Henri J.M. Nouwen. I just read the chapter about blessings and how we don't take enough time to recognize them. And if we spend time thinking of our blessings, we will be more secure in our identity as God's beloved. So as I was reading this last night, I thought of one of the second graders at work, T. T has severe ADHD and this maniacal smile that stops you in your tracks as you wonder what shenanigans he's up to. I have to confess, I'm not good with these kids. The hyper-ness annoys me, and I know I need to be nicer and more patient. When I come into work every morning, T is in the office, and I barely acknowledge him. I'm awful, I know. Well, I had his class yesterday, and he said, "Happy belated birthday, Ms. B. Did you have a nice day?" I replied that it was lovely, but then I asked how he knew it was my birthday. He told me it was on his calendar. Apparently he asked me months ago whe

My computer crashed again, so now I have two crashed computers at home. I'm going to send the new one in to get fixed, but in the meantime, blogging is difficult.

I met my future husband last night. I am head over heels for him; can you tell? I made a complete fool of myself, but that's okay. I told him that I left a comment on his blog the other day saying I am pretty much in love with him, and I really am. He said thank you. I thanked him for writing such amazing books and told him that the copy of Blue Like Jazz he was signing was like, the millionth copy I've bought because I lend it out all the time and never get it back because everyone loves it. I told him that I teach my students Somebody Wanted But So (which is what his newest book is based on), and he thought that was cool. Then we posed for this picture. When I told him it was nice to meet him, he said, "It was nice to meet you too, Erin." He used my name a couple times during the conversation, and every time he said it, my stomach flip flopped. I felt like I couldn't breathe the whole time I was talking to him, and my face was bright red. I wanted to sw

If I had to summarize the whole weekend in one word, it would be “unexpected.” Thursday night I went to see Valentine’s Day by myself. Good movie, but probably a bad idea to go alone. Because when Pete called later and wanted to come over, I immediately said yes. So that was a weird night. But there’s been no more talk on his part about how we’re going to end up together, etc, so that’s probably a good sign. Hopefully that phase has passed. Because I just can’t deal with all that gray area. Either Pete’s my friend, or we’re dating; I don’t want to deal with wondering what he’s really thinking. Friday was pretty much a wasted day since I was so tired. I was in bed by like, 9:00 on Friday. Saturday was a fun and busy day. My parents took me out to lunch at Stir Crazy for my birthday, which was delicious. I made the mistake of telling them about my struggles with faith, and they seemed pretty concerned. My dad actually said something that kind of helped,