The Adventures of Kinky Reggae: A Vagabond for Beauty

...if my neighbors can hear me singing in the shower. I'm not exactly quiet. I can hear my upstairs neighbor walking around, and that is loud. But I never hear her voice, so that's a good sign. But if my apartment is quiet, and someone walks by on the stairs, I can hear their conversation. What if my super hot triathlete neighbor walks by and hears me singing Beauty and the Beast songs? Not that I ever sing Beauty and the Beast. Or any Disney, for that matter. Goodness no. Only sophisticated stuff, like, you know, opera. And, um, maybe some Bach or Handel. Seriously. I'm classy like that. If I even sing in the shower at all, which is rare. Because, you know, who actually does that? Well, besides Nancy Novak. Anyway, just something I was thinking about.

Well, I am 99% sure I will be on my own in the Smokies. Funny; I feel like I spent most of my 20's waiting for life to happen to me, afraid to do anything too adventurous on my own. Now, if I want to do something, I do it. I don't let being alone hold me back. In fact, sometimes I prefer it. Initially, my plan was that if I ended up alone in the Smokies, I would just stay on the trails. But then my stubbornness kicked in, and I thought, I am not going to let that hold me back. Unfortunately, my navigation skills are somewhat lacking. Bible Study was cancelled last night because of the snow, and my first thought was, "Oh good, I just want to go home and be alone with my new map." (#mapporn) I moved my coffee table, spread the map out on the floor, sprawled across it, and started investigating. I quickly found the route I want to take, but this led to a bunch of questions, such as, "How will I know when to leave the trail?" and "What if I totally

Spending the weekend with Amanda was like a breath of fresh air. While I haven't exactly been depressed, I haven't been loving life lately, either. But when you're around Amanda, it's impossible to be in a funk. We began the weekend on Thursday night with falafel at Sultan's Palace and drinks at The Violet Hour. "This is the coolest place I've ever been to," Amanda said in awe as we emerged on the other side of the curtain. I remember feeling the same way the first time I went there. I love its aura of mysterious elegance. We sipped our drinks slowly, catching up on life and love and everything in between. It was wonderful. There was a "deadly snowstorm" Thursday night, which was less than thrilling for me, but Amanda was happy to see snow.  She even felt it was necessary to document the mundane task of brushing off my car since it isn't something she sees every day.   We took the L downtown on Friday. Our first stop was lunch at N

So.   It would seem that I am a bit of a hypocrite. Bernie called me on Saturday to let me know he’d be disappearing into the mountains for about a week, possibly more.   He’s been dealing with some difficult stuff and needed to get away from the stress and figure things out.   My immediate reaction was that I would miss him.   And then I was slightly irritated, because I thought, “Is this how he deals with conflict?   Leaving?   Must be nice to be able to be that irresponsible.” Not a nice thought, I know.   (I am so MEAN sometimes!   I’ve been praying about this a lot; I have such mean thoughts and I hate it!)   Last night, I broke the news to my parents that it’s probable that I’ll be losing my job again this year.   Later on in the conversation, I mentioned my upcoming trip to the Smokies.   “Umm… if you’re going to be unemployed, don’t you think you should be saving your money instead of taking a vacation?” my mom asked. “Mom, you don’t understand.   My

I'm still waiting. It's making me crazy. I want everything to happen RIGHT NOW. I want to know how things are going to turn out in several areas of my life. I want to get in my car and leave for Smoky Mountains tomorrow. But for now, waiting is my only option. So in the meantime, I'm preparing. I was slightly hungover today after staying out till 3:30 last night, watching my friend's band play. As a result, I spent the better part of the day on the couch watching the Moonshiners marathon. This, of course, got me thinking about my trip (I am determined to find some real, illegal moonshine), and it occurred to me that, rather than being bored, I could actually be productive and start working on some of those wilderness skills I really should know. I have tried reading my Mountaineering: Freedom of the Hills book before, but it is SO boring. However, I plan on doing solo off-trail hiking in the Smokies; it would probably behoove me to at least read the chapter on

I woke up alarmed I didn't know where I was at first Just that I woke up in your arms And almost immediately I felt sorry 'Cause I didn't think this would happen again No matter what I could do or say Just that I didn't think this would happen again With or without my best intentions And whatever happened to a boyfriend The kind of guy who tries to win you over? And whatever happened to a boyfriend The kind of guy who makes love 'cause he's in it? And I want a boyfriend I want a boyfriend I want all that stupid old shit Like letters and sodas Letters and sodas You got up out of bed You said you had a lot of work to do But I heard the rest in your head And almost immediately I felt sorry 'Cause I didn't think this would happen again No matter what I could do or say Just that I didn't think this would happen again With or without my best intentions And I want a boyfriend I want a boyfriend I want all that stupid old shi

I have been to many places where I have this moment of thinking, "This is the most beautiful, perfect spot in the whole world. There is no where else I'd rather be. I am so, so lucky to be here right now and I never want to leave." Peter Pan' s Flight at Disney World Angel's Landing at Zion National Park The "river" and willow tree in Humboldt Park across the street from my apartment Hurricane Ridge at Olympic National Park The gardens at Magnolia Plantation in Charleston Valley of Fire State Park in Nevada Cape Alava on the Pacific Ocean www.troop751.com Maroon Bells Wilderness in Colorado Wow, I could go on and on. But I realized last night that I get to go to one of my favorite places every day. http://bf402.blogspot.com/p/guided-readingsmall-groups-and.html Sitting at this table feels like home. I find so much joy here. Watching kids connect to literature for the first time, learn something new

I was going to blog this morning anyway, and then I got an email from my birthmom saying, "I haven't heard from you in a while... Are things really good or really bad?" I don't know how to answer that.  There's nothing exciting happening in my life right now, but there's a lot in the works.  And it's all stuff that requires me to just wait and see.  So, at small group last night, my prayer request was for peace as I wait it out.  Bernie and I are still talking.  I had to spend Friday night at home doing work, so he suggested we watch a movie together while I was working.  "OMG, Eclipse is on!  Let's watch that!" I suggested, totally not meaning it.  But he agreed.  And watched the whole thing.  At one point, I was apologizing for the terrible acting, and he was like, "We're in this together, baby."  It was fun to have the Edward vs. Jacob debate with him, and also to watch the movie again now that I've been to the Olympi