I feel like I can finally write about this now that I've had some time to process and know more about the situation.
The evaluation process was unfair. I did not know there was any kind of serious issue until after Christmas, when I had two formative evaluation meetings within three days of each other. After the first meeting, at which I was told there were problems with my leadership skills, I came up with an action plan, which I presented at the following meeting. The idea behind formative evaluations is that you're supposed to use that that feedback to improve your performance. Three days was obviously not enough time to do much, but I was determined to improve. I was receptive to the criticisms; I know I am less than awesome at leading meetings. It's different with kids; you can tell them to be quiet and stay focused. But dealing with adults is another story. I knew I had a lot to learn. Another criticism I felt was unfair was that I hadn't been going into enough teachers' classrooms to show them what was wrong with their instruction and how they should improve. I realize this is part of my job (although I didn't officially receive a job description until November, and my principal said my grace period for figuring things out should have been over in September). Anyway, I was in a difficult situation. I knew I needed to be working with teachers. However, despite repeated requests, the administrators would not give any directives to teachers in how they were expected to use me. People don’t like change, criticism, or extra work. So their reluctance to work with me was not surprising. I viewed it as starting a new business; if I could just win over a few people, they would give me good PR and hopefully I’d get more clients. Sure enough, this has started to happen. It was really upsetting to me was that my principal’s mind was made up before things started to turn around. There has been a huge improvement since Christmas. The relationship-building I’ve been working on since the beginning of the year has paid off.
Anyway, at the second meeting (three days after the first one), my principal told me I wouldn’t be returning next year. When I presented my action plan, I was told it was “too little, too late.” It was January.
My principal spent an hour and a half telling me why I’m bad at my job. Some of his points were valid (I know I’m not perfect, especially doing something new), but I felt like some were unjustified. Regardless, his mind was made up. I felt like it had been for a long time.
I did have one night where I was a mess, but other than that, I’ve been eerily calm. I haven’t been happy here; I think that’s been obvious to everyone who knows me well. Working in an affluent suburb is not where my heart is. I know there’s something better in store for me. My faith has really come into play here. Looking back, I see how God has never let me down and has taken care of me in so many ways, especially over the past few years. I’ve been humming “Great is Thy Faithfulness” and “He’s Always Been Faithful” a lot lately: “God has been faithful/he will be again, His loving compassion/it knows no end.” I’ve been determined to go to work with a smile on my face and continue to work hard and do the best I can at my job. I’m not there for my principal anyway; I’m there for the kids. I thought it would be so hard, and for the first week or two, it was. But with a lot of prayer (and Xanax), it’s gotten easier. I’m not worried about making it through the next few months anymore.
Then yesterday, something really awesome happened. My principal said from the beginning that he really likes me as a person and just didn’t think this position was a good fit for me. I thought he was just saying that to be nice. But it turns out, he meant it. (He told me he's actually told people they shouldn't be teachers!) When I had my summative evaluation meeting with him, I prepared myself for the worst. I knew he had to give me Unsatisfactory scores in order to give me an overall rating of Unsatisfactory so he could fire me. But he only gave me an Unsatisfactory in one category; the rest of his evaluation was very fair. He mentioned again that this wasn’t the right fit for me, but went on to say that he couldn’t have succeeded at this school if he were a first year principal. He basically told me he wanted someone in this position who had already been a reading specialist for a while. Which is totally fair, considering he’s not even the one who hired me. (He’s new this year, too.) He told me I’m a wonderful educator, and he is going to make some calls to some important connections he has to help me find a job for next year. He even did something totally sneaky and ninja-like: he had me submit my resignation before his final evaluation was due. Because of that, I will not have to check that box on applications that says I was asked to resign or fired. And he was able to go back and take away that Unsatisfactory rating and instead just say that I resigned before my evaluation was complete. My record will remain unblemished. And in interviews, I can honestly say that I just wasn’t ready for this type of position and that I really just have a heart for working with kids. I am so, so thankful for my principal’s willingness to do these things.
After all this, I am feeling hopeful and eager to see what next year brings. I don’t mind change, especially if it’s going to be for the better. This school has been a challenge. But even if it wasn’t the right place for me, I do feel successful. At the beginning of the year, one of the grade level teams was openly fighting with me during a meeting. That same team actually applauded my context clues presentation yesterday. Progress has been made, and I’m ready for the next challenge, wherever that might be.
The evaluation process was unfair. I did not know there was any kind of serious issue until after Christmas, when I had two formative evaluation meetings within three days of each other. After the first meeting, at which I was told there were problems with my leadership skills, I came up with an action plan, which I presented at the following meeting. The idea behind formative evaluations is that you're supposed to use that that feedback to improve your performance. Three days was obviously not enough time to do much, but I was determined to improve. I was receptive to the criticisms; I know I am less than awesome at leading meetings. It's different with kids; you can tell them to be quiet and stay focused. But dealing with adults is another story. I knew I had a lot to learn. Another criticism I felt was unfair was that I hadn't been going into enough teachers' classrooms to show them what was wrong with their instruction and how they should improve. I realize this is part of my job (although I didn't officially receive a job description until November, and my principal said my grace period for figuring things out should have been over in September). Anyway, I was in a difficult situation. I knew I needed to be working with teachers. However, despite repeated requests, the administrators would not give any directives to teachers in how they were expected to use me. People don’t like change, criticism, or extra work. So their reluctance to work with me was not surprising. I viewed it as starting a new business; if I could just win over a few people, they would give me good PR and hopefully I’d get more clients. Sure enough, this has started to happen. It was really upsetting to me was that my principal’s mind was made up before things started to turn around. There has been a huge improvement since Christmas. The relationship-building I’ve been working on since the beginning of the year has paid off.
Anyway, at the second meeting (three days after the first one), my principal told me I wouldn’t be returning next year. When I presented my action plan, I was told it was “too little, too late.” It was January.
My principal spent an hour and a half telling me why I’m bad at my job. Some of his points were valid (I know I’m not perfect, especially doing something new), but I felt like some were unjustified. Regardless, his mind was made up. I felt like it had been for a long time.
I did have one night where I was a mess, but other than that, I’ve been eerily calm. I haven’t been happy here; I think that’s been obvious to everyone who knows me well. Working in an affluent suburb is not where my heart is. I know there’s something better in store for me. My faith has really come into play here. Looking back, I see how God has never let me down and has taken care of me in so many ways, especially over the past few years. I’ve been humming “Great is Thy Faithfulness” and “He’s Always Been Faithful” a lot lately: “God has been faithful/he will be again, His loving compassion/it knows no end.” I’ve been determined to go to work with a smile on my face and continue to work hard and do the best I can at my job. I’m not there for my principal anyway; I’m there for the kids. I thought it would be so hard, and for the first week or two, it was. But with a lot of prayer (and Xanax), it’s gotten easier. I’m not worried about making it through the next few months anymore.
Then yesterday, something really awesome happened. My principal said from the beginning that he really likes me as a person and just didn’t think this position was a good fit for me. I thought he was just saying that to be nice. But it turns out, he meant it. (He told me he's actually told people they shouldn't be teachers!) When I had my summative evaluation meeting with him, I prepared myself for the worst. I knew he had to give me Unsatisfactory scores in order to give me an overall rating of Unsatisfactory so he could fire me. But he only gave me an Unsatisfactory in one category; the rest of his evaluation was very fair. He mentioned again that this wasn’t the right fit for me, but went on to say that he couldn’t have succeeded at this school if he were a first year principal. He basically told me he wanted someone in this position who had already been a reading specialist for a while. Which is totally fair, considering he’s not even the one who hired me. (He’s new this year, too.) He told me I’m a wonderful educator, and he is going to make some calls to some important connections he has to help me find a job for next year. He even did something totally sneaky and ninja-like: he had me submit my resignation before his final evaluation was due. Because of that, I will not have to check that box on applications that says I was asked to resign or fired. And he was able to go back and take away that Unsatisfactory rating and instead just say that I resigned before my evaluation was complete. My record will remain unblemished. And in interviews, I can honestly say that I just wasn’t ready for this type of position and that I really just have a heart for working with kids. I am so, so thankful for my principal’s willingness to do these things.
After all this, I am feeling hopeful and eager to see what next year brings. I don’t mind change, especially if it’s going to be for the better. This school has been a challenge. But even if it wasn’t the right place for me, I do feel successful. At the beginning of the year, one of the grade level teams was openly fighting with me during a meeting. That same team actually applauded my context clues presentation yesterday. Progress has been made, and I’m ready for the next challenge, wherever that might be.
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