I have some rambling thoughts about reading the Bible.
I was thinking recently that many, if not most Christians have never read the entire Bible. And that just doesn’t seem right. If it’s in there, it’s scripture and is therefore important, right? If we’re thinking about eternity, wouldn’t we want to read everything God has to say?
But I’ve been guilty of not reading my Bible, too. Growing up in the Lutheran church, there is a huge emphasis on scripture, which I love. And when I got a nice Bible for confirmation, I was so excited to read it. And I did read most of it. I’m pretty sure I’ve read the whole Bible at least twice. But I’ve always been really inconsistent. I’d go through periods where I’d read every day, and times when I didn’t pick it up for months. And when I did read, it was always the same stuff- John, Romans, James, Ephesians, etc.
I’m not sure when my issues with faith started, but they’ve been going on for a while. So back in January, I decided I needed to start spending time daily with God’s word. I started in Genesis and have been reading straight through. Now, I’m in Job. I love the book of Job. His friends irritate me because they keep trying to say that the reason bad stuff is happening is because he did something wrong, which obviously is not true. I mean, when we do stupid things, there are consequences, but I don’t think it’s God punishing us. And that definitely wasn’t the case for Job; he didn’t deserve any of those awful things. I really love how Job just really wants a one-on-one conversation with God to plead his case, or to listen to what God has to say so he can try to understand. I don’t know why that’s so poignant to me, but I can relate to it. But as touching as Job’s story is, the reason for it really pisses me off. So Satan and God are arguing one day, and they just decide to mess with poor Job? What does that say about God’s character? He killed Job’s children just to prove a point to Satan? Not cool. The whole point God was trying to prove was that no matter what bad stuff happened, Job wouldn’t curse him. Well, you know what? If I were Job and found out why all that stuff had happened to me, I’d curse God for sure.
Anyway, reading my Bible has been a really great thing for me. It hasn’t solved all my problems with doubt. If anything, sometimes it makes the problem worse. I’ve been downright angry with God at certain points, like right now while I’m reading Job. And in Sunday School this week we talked about Joshua. I was excited because I had some major issues with that book. Sadly, 45 minutes was not long enough to get into a deep philosophical discussion. But there are a lot of parts in the Old Testament that I just don’t get, or that make me so angry. But there have been a lot of beautiful parts, too. And what I’ve noticed about reading my Bible, even the boring parts, is that God is on my mind a lot more. When something makes me mad, I want to talk to people about it. (Sometimes, I just need to hear that they find it disturbing and upsetting, too.) I also want to talk about questions I have, and share the beautiful moments and the ways the text connects to my life. Even if my faith is not where it used to be, God is on my mind a lot more than he used to be.
I went to church with my friend Kasia yesterday (she’s Mormon), and Relief Society was all about the importance of reading scriptures. I was so excited for this lesson since that’s something I’ve really found to be true lately. I honestly look forward to reading my Bible every night, even if I don’t particularly like what I’m reading. And now, I’m headed to bed to read.
I was thinking recently that many, if not most Christians have never read the entire Bible. And that just doesn’t seem right. If it’s in there, it’s scripture and is therefore important, right? If we’re thinking about eternity, wouldn’t we want to read everything God has to say?
But I’ve been guilty of not reading my Bible, too. Growing up in the Lutheran church, there is a huge emphasis on scripture, which I love. And when I got a nice Bible for confirmation, I was so excited to read it. And I did read most of it. I’m pretty sure I’ve read the whole Bible at least twice. But I’ve always been really inconsistent. I’d go through periods where I’d read every day, and times when I didn’t pick it up for months. And when I did read, it was always the same stuff- John, Romans, James, Ephesians, etc.
I’m not sure when my issues with faith started, but they’ve been going on for a while. So back in January, I decided I needed to start spending time daily with God’s word. I started in Genesis and have been reading straight through. Now, I’m in Job. I love the book of Job. His friends irritate me because they keep trying to say that the reason bad stuff is happening is because he did something wrong, which obviously is not true. I mean, when we do stupid things, there are consequences, but I don’t think it’s God punishing us. And that definitely wasn’t the case for Job; he didn’t deserve any of those awful things. I really love how Job just really wants a one-on-one conversation with God to plead his case, or to listen to what God has to say so he can try to understand. I don’t know why that’s so poignant to me, but I can relate to it. But as touching as Job’s story is, the reason for it really pisses me off. So Satan and God are arguing one day, and they just decide to mess with poor Job? What does that say about God’s character? He killed Job’s children just to prove a point to Satan? Not cool. The whole point God was trying to prove was that no matter what bad stuff happened, Job wouldn’t curse him. Well, you know what? If I were Job and found out why all that stuff had happened to me, I’d curse God for sure.
Anyway, reading my Bible has been a really great thing for me. It hasn’t solved all my problems with doubt. If anything, sometimes it makes the problem worse. I’ve been downright angry with God at certain points, like right now while I’m reading Job. And in Sunday School this week we talked about Joshua. I was excited because I had some major issues with that book. Sadly, 45 minutes was not long enough to get into a deep philosophical discussion. But there are a lot of parts in the Old Testament that I just don’t get, or that make me so angry. But there have been a lot of beautiful parts, too. And what I’ve noticed about reading my Bible, even the boring parts, is that God is on my mind a lot more. When something makes me mad, I want to talk to people about it. (Sometimes, I just need to hear that they find it disturbing and upsetting, too.) I also want to talk about questions I have, and share the beautiful moments and the ways the text connects to my life. Even if my faith is not where it used to be, God is on my mind a lot more than he used to be.
I went to church with my friend Kasia yesterday (she’s Mormon), and Relief Society was all about the importance of reading scriptures. I was so excited for this lesson since that’s something I’ve really found to be true lately. I honestly look forward to reading my Bible every night, even if I don’t particularly like what I’m reading. And now, I’m headed to bed to read.
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