I went to a presentation on Saturday morning to hear about some vacation club. The deal was that, if I sat through their 90 min presentation, I'd get two free plane tickets to anywhere in the continental U.S. They had us all in a group for most of it, then assigned us to individual sales people to close the deal. Here's how the conversation with my guy went:
"So, Erin, where was the last place you vacationed?"
"Utah."
"Oh, you're a skier?"
"No, I'm a canyoneer."
Blank look, but recovers quickly.
"Sounds great! So, let's go through a scenario to show you just how much money we can save you. If you were going to take your dream vacation, where would you go?"
"Iceland." (I promise you I was not trying to be a smart ass. This was an honest answer.)
"Okay... Well, I don't think we have any properties there right now... Anywhere else you have in mind?"
"Um... New Zealand, I guess. I've heard there are good canyons there."
"Well, I'm sure we could help you find some great deals in New Zealand." (He clearly knows nothing about their properties there.) "What about cruises? Do you cruise?"
"No."
"Are you interested in cruising?"
"No."
"What about the Caribbean?"
"Eh..."
"Well, it sounds like you really like adventure travel. Let me show you how we can save you money on that."
I'm starting to feel bad. "Look, I really can't afford anything at all. Honestly, I'm just here for the tickets."
My salesman realizes he's losing me and waves over the guy who gave the original presentation. I'm guessing he's the backup plan for difficult clients.
"Erin, let me just show you how much money you could have saved on your last vacation if you'd been a member with us. Did you stay at a hotel? Resort?"
"I camped."
Pause. "Well, even with camping there's some cost involved. You still have to pay for cabins, or to stay at the campground, right?"
"I camped for free. No, wait, that's not totally true... Sometimes I paid $5 a night."
Long pause.
"Well, I guess we can't really beat free! But at some point you may want to take a trip that doesn't involve camping. Like maybe your honeymoon?"
"Sure, but that won't be for a long time, and I just can't afford this right now."
"Wow, Erin, I see on this form that you're a teacher. That's so cool!" Proceeds to make conversation with me about how great this is. "Well Erin, I have good news for you. We really like to help out our teachers, nurses, and cops. So we'd like to offer you this additional discount!"
"Thanks, but my student loans are about to go into default... I can't afford any more monthly payments, no matter how small."
"Wait, did you say student loans? Have you been a student in the last five years? If so, we can offer you this additional discount!"
I have to say that at this point, I am somewhat amazed. I had no idea being a hard ass could pay off this much! They really were offering a huge discount from what they originally quoted. Unfortunately, I wasn't trying to bargain; I really am that broke. I shop at the Dollar Store and got a bad haircut at Great Clips last week; joining a vacation club is not a financial priority.
"I'm sorry, I just can't do it," I said.
And they handed me a voucher for two free tickets to wherever I want to go. I almost felt sorry for them; clearly, they'd never encountered anyone quite like me before.
Of course, there would be a catch- they're not eligible for use within 7 days of a holiday. So there go my plans for spring break in Phoenix.
But there are so many possibilities- the Disney half marathon, Chickfest in the San Rafael Swell, a weekend in Portland... Those tickets will be put to good use!
"So, Erin, where was the last place you vacationed?"
"Utah."
"Oh, you're a skier?"
"No, I'm a canyoneer."
Blank look, but recovers quickly.
"Sounds great! So, let's go through a scenario to show you just how much money we can save you. If you were going to take your dream vacation, where would you go?"
"Iceland." (I promise you I was not trying to be a smart ass. This was an honest answer.)
"Okay... Well, I don't think we have any properties there right now... Anywhere else you have in mind?"
"Um... New Zealand, I guess. I've heard there are good canyons there."
"Well, I'm sure we could help you find some great deals in New Zealand." (He clearly knows nothing about their properties there.) "What about cruises? Do you cruise?"
"No."
"Are you interested in cruising?"
"No."
"What about the Caribbean?"
"Eh..."
"Well, it sounds like you really like adventure travel. Let me show you how we can save you money on that."
I'm starting to feel bad. "Look, I really can't afford anything at all. Honestly, I'm just here for the tickets."
My salesman realizes he's losing me and waves over the guy who gave the original presentation. I'm guessing he's the backup plan for difficult clients.
"Erin, let me just show you how much money you could have saved on your last vacation if you'd been a member with us. Did you stay at a hotel? Resort?"
"I camped."
Pause. "Well, even with camping there's some cost involved. You still have to pay for cabins, or to stay at the campground, right?"
"I camped for free. No, wait, that's not totally true... Sometimes I paid $5 a night."
Long pause.
"Well, I guess we can't really beat free! But at some point you may want to take a trip that doesn't involve camping. Like maybe your honeymoon?"
"Sure, but that won't be for a long time, and I just can't afford this right now."
"Wow, Erin, I see on this form that you're a teacher. That's so cool!" Proceeds to make conversation with me about how great this is. "Well Erin, I have good news for you. We really like to help out our teachers, nurses, and cops. So we'd like to offer you this additional discount!"
"Thanks, but my student loans are about to go into default... I can't afford any more monthly payments, no matter how small."
"Wait, did you say student loans? Have you been a student in the last five years? If so, we can offer you this additional discount!"
I have to say that at this point, I am somewhat amazed. I had no idea being a hard ass could pay off this much! They really were offering a huge discount from what they originally quoted. Unfortunately, I wasn't trying to bargain; I really am that broke. I shop at the Dollar Store and got a bad haircut at Great Clips last week; joining a vacation club is not a financial priority.
"I'm sorry, I just can't do it," I said.
And they handed me a voucher for two free tickets to wherever I want to go. I almost felt sorry for them; clearly, they'd never encountered anyone quite like me before.
Of course, there would be a catch- they're not eligible for use within 7 days of a holiday. So there go my plans for spring break in Phoenix.
But there are so many possibilities- the Disney half marathon, Chickfest in the San Rafael Swell, a weekend in Portland... Those tickets will be put to good use!
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