How to Look Cute in a Canyon

Spanx

Ladies, if you need them, wear them. Even if it is July in Escalante. Not only  do they suck it all in, they also give you a nice extra layer of fabric just in case you have a blowout.

(This elevator downclimb in Monkey Business destroyed the seat of my pants, but the Spanx remain.)

Hair

Ideally, hair should be worn down. Therefore, optimal canyoneering times are spring and fall, when temps are cool enough to do this comfortably. 

(FreezeFest 2012)

Even when you have to put on the ugly helmet, you will look at least a little cute. (I do not advocate forgoing the helmet in favor of cuteness. Being a liability to your group is simply bad etiquette.)

(Hogwarts)

When it is hot, it is acceptable to wear your hair up. A bow or cute hair tie that matches your outfit is just the thing in this situation. I have a darling bow that matches my 5.10's. 

(Flower hair tie in Yankee Doodle)

Nails

Manicured nails are a must. The nail polish will conceal all the unsightly grime that collects under your nails. For multi-day excursions, bring a bottle of clear polish and re-apply daily over your existing manicure.

(Pink nails in Lower Baptist Draw)

Accessories

I never do a canyon without my Fearless necklace and my hoop earrings. Accessories will take your cuteness to the next level.

Makeup

I have often been ridiculed for wearing makeup in a canyon, but think about it. There is usually someone taking pictures. Pictures that will end up on Facebook. And this is good- you want documentation of all the fun you're having! So what's the harm in a little eyeliner and lip gloss so you will be happy with these pictures? Just be sure that your eye makeup is waterproof. When I'm wiping the sweat out of my eyes as I'm stemming in an R-rated canyon, it's nice to not have to worry about makeup smearing.

A Good Photographer

And speaking of photography... You may not actually look cute all the time in the canyons, but a good photographer can make it seem like you do. My friend Jason always says, "If you don't look good, I don't look good." He only posts the most flattering pictures because it will reflect badly on him if the ladies he's with look like trolls.

(Jason requested a pouty look in Minnow.)

Clothing 

Can we just be honest and agree that capris do not look good on 95% of the population? This is a big fashion "don't." Looking back on old canyon pictures, I have realized the error of my ways. 

(A fashion faux pas in Witch's Cauldron)

Skirts/dresses look adorable in the warm weather. It's the perfect way to maintain a feminine appearance. When you are day hiking, this is no problem. 

(Playing Floor is Lava in Peekaboo Canyon)

(Strolling through Spooky Canyon in Nevada)

However, a harness can complicate things. Showing your hoo ha to the friend belaying you is not ladylike. Luckily, the folks at REI have solved this problem by selling hiking skorts. 

(Rappelling into Egypt 2 in my favorite skort)

Wetsuits

Friends, I have yet to figure this one out. If anyone has an idea of how to look cute in a wetsuit, I'd certainly like to hear it.