For a while now, I've planned on this being my last year in my district. Today was the last straw.
I am now at the part of my grad program where I do practicum, and there has been all sorts of drama. I won't go into detail because it's not interesting, but half of the problem was Concordia being disorganized. But basically it comes down to the fact that I can't make it to practicum on time. So, the day before practicum started last week, my professor emailed me and suggested that I just do practicum at my own school. This seemed like the perfect solution to me because I'm very independent. I don't want to do things with everyone else; just tell me what to do and I'll run with it.
My principal was enthusiastic about the idea and didn't seem to think it was a big deal, even when I mentioned that the sessions would have to be videotaped. Almost as an afterthought, she mentioned that I'd just need to get final approval from the assistant superintendent. So I set up a meeting.
Now, I am not a fan of our administration. These women are apparently all in the same sorority (I don't know the details), and they are very fake. They are obsessed with appearances and pretending to be professional and seem to ignore the important stuff. They are all about putting on this big show and ignoring the problems we have. Every time I see someone from the district office, they make me feel like an idiot. So I was dreading the meeting today. I made sure I was prepared. I forgot my syllabus (I was so mad at myself for that!), but I had a letter to parents that I had typed, explaining the program, and the consent form that Concordia gave me, modified to include the part about videotaping.
When the assistant superintendent asked me about what I wanted to do, I barely got a sentence out before she looked at my papers and interrupted me. (This is how it always is; she interrupts, I get all flustered; she belittles me, I turn bright red and don't know what to say.) She flipped out because the papers weren't printed on Concordia letterhead. She went on and on about how unprofessional it was that I would show up with papers I'd just printed off my computer, and she couldn't even take this to the superintendent until I fixed that and basically implied that I was wasting her time. This was without her knowing anything about what I wanted to do. I tried to explain that the consent form was what Concordia had given me (none of the documents they gave me were on their letterhead), but it seemed like she didn't believe me. She was very condescending. Then, when she found out the part about students being videotaped, she really freaked out. She acted like I was a complete idiot who doesn't understand the legalities involved with that. (Guess what- I do.) Then she said that our superintendent is very protective of our children and very rarely allows anyone to videotape them. Apparently, if I want to videotape, it will have to go before the school board for approval, and they will most likely not approve it. How ridiculous is that?
So I emailed my professor and still haven't heard back. I don't know what I'm going to do. If I do practicum with the rest of my class, I'm a week behind, there are no students for me to work with, and I will be at least 20 minutes late to every session. I'm so screwed. The funny part is that all this stuff I have to do for practicum is actually part of my job. I have several free periods during the week, so starting tomorrow I'll be pulling small groups of third graders and assessing them and coming up with remediation strategies for them. Too bad that doesn't count.
But I am just so sick of my district and how pretentious and fake everyone is. I know that no district is perfect, and I don't expect that. But I do expect some kindness and respect. That woman made me feel like a little kid who had done something wrong today, even though I hadn't. I desperately miss my old principal, who is a genuinely good person. I loved working for her, and I could almost ignore who she worked for. But this is just too much. I'm done. I know it's silly, because I'm up for tenure at the end of this year, but I don't want it. I don't want to get sucked in and spend the rest of my career in this insane little district. To quote Zoolander, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills every time I hear our administrators talk.
I don't know how I'm going to get up and go to work tomorrow and deal with more of this. I love the kids, and I love teaching reading. That will get me through the year. But I can't take much more of this. Next year is going to bring some big changes.
I am now at the part of my grad program where I do practicum, and there has been all sorts of drama. I won't go into detail because it's not interesting, but half of the problem was Concordia being disorganized. But basically it comes down to the fact that I can't make it to practicum on time. So, the day before practicum started last week, my professor emailed me and suggested that I just do practicum at my own school. This seemed like the perfect solution to me because I'm very independent. I don't want to do things with everyone else; just tell me what to do and I'll run with it.
My principal was enthusiastic about the idea and didn't seem to think it was a big deal, even when I mentioned that the sessions would have to be videotaped. Almost as an afterthought, she mentioned that I'd just need to get final approval from the assistant superintendent. So I set up a meeting.
Now, I am not a fan of our administration. These women are apparently all in the same sorority (I don't know the details), and they are very fake. They are obsessed with appearances and pretending to be professional and seem to ignore the important stuff. They are all about putting on this big show and ignoring the problems we have. Every time I see someone from the district office, they make me feel like an idiot. So I was dreading the meeting today. I made sure I was prepared. I forgot my syllabus (I was so mad at myself for that!), but I had a letter to parents that I had typed, explaining the program, and the consent form that Concordia gave me, modified to include the part about videotaping.
When the assistant superintendent asked me about what I wanted to do, I barely got a sentence out before she looked at my papers and interrupted me. (This is how it always is; she interrupts, I get all flustered; she belittles me, I turn bright red and don't know what to say.) She flipped out because the papers weren't printed on Concordia letterhead. She went on and on about how unprofessional it was that I would show up with papers I'd just printed off my computer, and she couldn't even take this to the superintendent until I fixed that and basically implied that I was wasting her time. This was without her knowing anything about what I wanted to do. I tried to explain that the consent form was what Concordia had given me (none of the documents they gave me were on their letterhead), but it seemed like she didn't believe me. She was very condescending. Then, when she found out the part about students being videotaped, she really freaked out. She acted like I was a complete idiot who doesn't understand the legalities involved with that. (Guess what- I do.) Then she said that our superintendent is very protective of our children and very rarely allows anyone to videotape them. Apparently, if I want to videotape, it will have to go before the school board for approval, and they will most likely not approve it. How ridiculous is that?
So I emailed my professor and still haven't heard back. I don't know what I'm going to do. If I do practicum with the rest of my class, I'm a week behind, there are no students for me to work with, and I will be at least 20 minutes late to every session. I'm so screwed. The funny part is that all this stuff I have to do for practicum is actually part of my job. I have several free periods during the week, so starting tomorrow I'll be pulling small groups of third graders and assessing them and coming up with remediation strategies for them. Too bad that doesn't count.
But I am just so sick of my district and how pretentious and fake everyone is. I know that no district is perfect, and I don't expect that. But I do expect some kindness and respect. That woman made me feel like a little kid who had done something wrong today, even though I hadn't. I desperately miss my old principal, who is a genuinely good person. I loved working for her, and I could almost ignore who she worked for. But this is just too much. I'm done. I know it's silly, because I'm up for tenure at the end of this year, but I don't want it. I don't want to get sucked in and spend the rest of my career in this insane little district. To quote Zoolander, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills every time I hear our administrators talk.
I don't know how I'm going to get up and go to work tomorrow and deal with more of this. I love the kids, and I love teaching reading. That will get me through the year. But I can't take much more of this. Next year is going to bring some big changes.
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