Throughout the day, my thoughts started to fall into place. I’ve thought about things and had conversations with people that have helped me see what I need to do.
1. I am not going to interview in Minneapolis. I don’t want to go there, so why even interview? I shouldn’t try to make myself live somewhere just because I feel like I should. Settling is never a good idea.
2. My first choice is to be asked back by my district. I really don’t want to have to disrupt my life TOO much. But, if they don’t ask me back by the time Phoenix makes me an offer next month…
3. I am moving to Phoenix. Yes, there are a lot of negatives, but there are positives, too. Having a support system there is huge. And while I complain about all the brown, I could find an apartment complex with grass. My parents bought a new car and said they will come visit. I feel like my life is kind of stagnate here; I’m excited at the thought of trying something new and living somewhere different. I will miss Chicago like crazy, but I could still come back someday.
4. If I am honest with myself, one of the things holding me back from moving to Phoenix is Ryan. We had another romantic moment this weekend. (And I’m not using romantic as a euphemism; dancing to the Beatles was so sweet.) So, if it looks like I’m going to move to Phoenix, I need to put it all out there. I’m going to ask him how dating would be any different than what we’re doing now, and tell him that I’m honestly not sure how I feel about him, but I do feel like there’s possibility there. If he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s fine. I can move away and not wonder about what could have been. I need to resolve that issue.
*Possible Step 5: I’m still going to attend a job fair in Michigan in a few weeks. I will be talking to Grand Rapids, MI and Louisville, KY. Those would both be preferable to Phoenix because they’re closer.
This is my plan. And once I have figured out things like this, I’m pretty good at sticking to it. Step 4 is going to be difficult, but I will have a few drinks first and write down what I’m going to say. And now that I know what I’m going to do, I feel so much better.
1. I am not going to interview in Minneapolis. I don’t want to go there, so why even interview? I shouldn’t try to make myself live somewhere just because I feel like I should. Settling is never a good idea.
2. My first choice is to be asked back by my district. I really don’t want to have to disrupt my life TOO much. But, if they don’t ask me back by the time Phoenix makes me an offer next month…
3. I am moving to Phoenix. Yes, there are a lot of negatives, but there are positives, too. Having a support system there is huge. And while I complain about all the brown, I could find an apartment complex with grass. My parents bought a new car and said they will come visit. I feel like my life is kind of stagnate here; I’m excited at the thought of trying something new and living somewhere different. I will miss Chicago like crazy, but I could still come back someday.
4. If I am honest with myself, one of the things holding me back from moving to Phoenix is Ryan. We had another romantic moment this weekend. (And I’m not using romantic as a euphemism; dancing to the Beatles was so sweet.) So, if it looks like I’m going to move to Phoenix, I need to put it all out there. I’m going to ask him how dating would be any different than what we’re doing now, and tell him that I’m honestly not sure how I feel about him, but I do feel like there’s possibility there. If he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s fine. I can move away and not wonder about what could have been. I need to resolve that issue.
*Possible Step 5: I’m still going to attend a job fair in Michigan in a few weeks. I will be talking to Grand Rapids, MI and Louisville, KY. Those would both be preferable to Phoenix because they’re closer.
This is my plan. And once I have figured out things like this, I’m pretty good at sticking to it. Step 4 is going to be difficult, but I will have a few drinks first and write down what I’m going to say. And now that I know what I’m going to do, I feel so much better.
Comments
I admire the grace with which you are handling such a challenging time. Truly. You are one of the sweetest people and most gifted teachers I know and you deserve the BEST!