I feel like I was on the phone almost all day yesterday. Everyone was calling or texting. Pete even threatened to stop by, which thank God he didn't because I spent half the day working out and looked disgusting. (Funny, when things ended with Chuck back in the day, I also coped by working out constantly...)
Everyone wanted to hear about my fiasco of a trip, but there's also been the unspoken question of, "Are you okay? Because we all thought you were going to end up with this guy, and that all just fell apart."
And that's what set this guy apart from all the others. I don't know why, but EVERYONE, from my parents to my doctor to my best friends, thought that he was the one. I mean, honestly, I did, too. I had some concerns, but it just felt right. And everything was falling into place for us to be together. I could picture what our life would be like. We would do well living together, because he is the most laid back person on earth, so he could handle how persnickety I am (my friend once used this word to describe me, and I proudly own that). I already know that we would fight because he gets up early and makes a lot of noise, and those close to me know that the number one rule in dealing with me is don't f- with my sleep... Actually, we would argue about a million things, but somehow, it would be all right. I've been comfortable enough with him since the beginning to argue with him and just be myself 100%. (He still brings up the fight we had about politics on the way back from Utah... When we stopped for gas, I yelled, "Get out of my car!" It was his turn to ride with Jason anyway, but apparently he was worried that I hated him...) He would love my church and fit in well there, as well as with my group of friends. We'd hang out at Rachel and Mico's, and he and Mico would go skateboarding together. He could disappear on his trips for several weeks at a time, and it wouldn't bother me because it would give me the time alone that I need.
I told him not to call me again unless he's in Chicago. I meant it, because I can't handle getting my hopes up and being let down over and over. I'm not sure what's kept him from getting here, but if he wanted this badly enough, he'd get here.
But every time I get a text, I hope it's him. I feel like I owe all of my friends an apology for being disappointed every time I see their names pop up, especially when the things they're sending are so wonderful. Prayers, quotes, Bible verses, offers of lunch or hanging out, pep talks... Allison has even started sending me pictures of hot guys. Because how can you be sad when Tom Hardy keeps popping up on your phone?
I feel guilty sometimes, because I feel like the last year or so has been one crisis after another, and my friends just stick by me no matter what. I'm so thankful to be surrounded by such wonderful people.
Tom Hardy pic from Allison (definitely wouldn't mind being surrounded by him):
Everyone wanted to hear about my fiasco of a trip, but there's also been the unspoken question of, "Are you okay? Because we all thought you were going to end up with this guy, and that all just fell apart."
And that's what set this guy apart from all the others. I don't know why, but EVERYONE, from my parents to my doctor to my best friends, thought that he was the one. I mean, honestly, I did, too. I had some concerns, but it just felt right. And everything was falling into place for us to be together. I could picture what our life would be like. We would do well living together, because he is the most laid back person on earth, so he could handle how persnickety I am (my friend once used this word to describe me, and I proudly own that). I already know that we would fight because he gets up early and makes a lot of noise, and those close to me know that the number one rule in dealing with me is don't f- with my sleep... Actually, we would argue about a million things, but somehow, it would be all right. I've been comfortable enough with him since the beginning to argue with him and just be myself 100%. (He still brings up the fight we had about politics on the way back from Utah... When we stopped for gas, I yelled, "Get out of my car!" It was his turn to ride with Jason anyway, but apparently he was worried that I hated him...) He would love my church and fit in well there, as well as with my group of friends. We'd hang out at Rachel and Mico's, and he and Mico would go skateboarding together. He could disappear on his trips for several weeks at a time, and it wouldn't bother me because it would give me the time alone that I need.
I told him not to call me again unless he's in Chicago. I meant it, because I can't handle getting my hopes up and being let down over and over. I'm not sure what's kept him from getting here, but if he wanted this badly enough, he'd get here.
But every time I get a text, I hope it's him. I feel like I owe all of my friends an apology for being disappointed every time I see their names pop up, especially when the things they're sending are so wonderful. Prayers, quotes, Bible verses, offers of lunch or hanging out, pep talks... Allison has even started sending me pictures of hot guys. Because how can you be sad when Tom Hardy keeps popping up on your phone?
I feel guilty sometimes, because I feel like the last year or so has been one crisis after another, and my friends just stick by me no matter what. I'm so thankful to be surrounded by such wonderful people.
Tom Hardy pic from Allison (definitely wouldn't mind being surrounded by him):
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