Leisa and I had dinner last week, and I tried to articulate how I've been feeling lately.
"I'm preparing to move across the country by myself for the third time. I have to pack. I have to get rid of stuff. I have to budget. I have to figure out how my stuff is getting to Phoenix, and who's going to help me move my furniture. I have to figure out the logistics of an 8 week road trip. I have to say goodbye to my family and and friends and city I love. I'm feeling very much alone in all this. And it's not that I want someone to take care of everything for me..."
"But you're asking yourself, 'Where's my f-ing partner?'" Leisa finished. "It's a 'Where's my f-ing partner?'" moment.
And that's the perfect way to say it. I don't need someone to take care of me. But it would be so nice to be in this with someone else. Even if I was still handling all the logistics and planning on my own, it would be nice to have the emotional support of a partner.
90% of the time, I am happy on my own. And if I've gotten through this twice before, I can do it again. And you know what? I didn't just "get through" moving to Phoenix. I f-ing rocked it.
I feel like I'm going to have a lot of "Where's my f-ing partner?" moments over the next few weeks. It's going to get harder as moving day approaches, and it's made even harder by the fact that I thought I might actually have a partner this time.
But I have friends who love me and support me more than I deserve. And if there's one truth I know about myself, it's that I am strong.
It's going to be okay. It just may suck for a while in the meantime.
"I'm preparing to move across the country by myself for the third time. I have to pack. I have to get rid of stuff. I have to budget. I have to figure out how my stuff is getting to Phoenix, and who's going to help me move my furniture. I have to figure out the logistics of an 8 week road trip. I have to say goodbye to my family and and friends and city I love. I'm feeling very much alone in all this. And it's not that I want someone to take care of everything for me..."
"But you're asking yourself, 'Where's my f-ing partner?'" Leisa finished. "It's a 'Where's my f-ing partner?'" moment.
And that's the perfect way to say it. I don't need someone to take care of me. But it would be so nice to be in this with someone else. Even if I was still handling all the logistics and planning on my own, it would be nice to have the emotional support of a partner.
90% of the time, I am happy on my own. And if I've gotten through this twice before, I can do it again. And you know what? I didn't just "get through" moving to Phoenix. I f-ing rocked it.
I feel like I'm going to have a lot of "Where's my f-ing partner?" moments over the next few weeks. It's going to get harder as moving day approaches, and it's made even harder by the fact that I thought I might actually have a partner this time.
But I have friends who love me and support me more than I deserve. And if there's one truth I know about myself, it's that I am strong.
It's going to be okay. It just may suck for a while in the meantime.
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