Reading Nadia Bolz-Weber’s book for small group has made me
homesick for the faith I grew up in.
I grew up in a wonderful LCMS (Lutheran Church Missouri
Synod) congregation. These people had community down, and our families had been
attending this church for many generations. It was a really special place, and
I never heard any talk about homosexuality being sin, or women not being equal
to men, or evolution being a lie.
Then, I went to an LCMS college.
At first, I bought into what my theology professors were
telling me. I flirted with fundamentalism. But Rob Bell’s book “Velvet Elvis”
changed everything for me, and I stopped attending Lutheran church.
Since then, I have bounced around and ended up at a
Mennonite church. But Nadia’s book has made me realize there are parts of me
that will always be Lutheran.
Baptism and communion are mystical sacraments in the
Lutheran church. When I take communion, I don’t believe it is purely symbolic.
I believe the true body and blood are in, with, and under the bread and wine. I
don’t believe I’m actually eating flesh and blood, but this is the Lutheran’s
way of saying, “Something more is happening here.” I’ve heard it described as the closest we’ll be to God’s
presence while we’re on earth.
In baptism, I am crucified with Christ, and my old self no
longer lives; Christ lives in me. I’m made new. Dead to sin and alive in
Christ. I’m not just becoming part of God’s family, or being saved from going
to hell, or joining a church. I made a commitment to be a follower of Jesus
when I was confirmed. Baptism is more than that. This is why, in her book, Nadia suggests that when the voices in our head or other people are telling us we're not good enough, our response should be, "I'm baptized, so f*** off!"
Most of the other churches I’ve been to don’t talk much
about sin, but Lutherans confess their sins every Sunday. I love how Nadia describes it on her blog:
“The reality is that I cannot free myself from
the bondage of self. I cannot by my own understanding or effort disentangle
myself from self interest – and when I think that I can …I’m basically
trying to do what is only God’s to do. So, to me, there is… a great hope
in admitting my mortality and my brokenness because then I finally lay
aside my sin management program long enough to allow God to be God for
me. Which is all any of us really need when it comes down to it.”
Confessing our sin is part of the liturgy,
something else I miss. Growing up, I found it difficult to glean something new
from the same routine every Sunday. But there is something sacred in
worshipping with the same words Christians have used for a few thousand years.
I love the Mennonite church and its teachings. The
congregation I’ve found is a place unlike any other, and I can’t imagine being
happier anywhere else. I have no plans to return to the Lutheran Church.
But these are the parts of me that will always be
Lutheran.
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