Ok, so this is really difficult. I never really had an enemy until last year, when Marilyn, the mentor coordinator, decided she was out to get me. Most of my friends know the story, and I don’t feel like typing the whole thing. But basically, she decided she didn’t like me, and she is not a good enemy to have. She is the former Union President, and is tight with the administration and the school board. No one actually likes her (because she is seriously evil), but we think she must have blackmail on someone because she does whatever she wants. So last year she did her best to get me in trouble with my principal and the superintendent, and lied about me to the school board. She also claimed that she was too busy to have my last required meeting, so now I will have to be in the mentoring program for another two years because I didn’t complete the requirements. On top of all this, I heard that she said all kinds of mean things behind my back about like, my weight. It was a difficult year. I made myself physically ill with stress at points. I had my first panic attack, and she contributed to it. But I just kept telling myself that I just had to make it through the year, because she was retiring at the end of the year. Even though the thought of two more years in the mentoring program is extremely discouraging and makes me feel like a loser, I figured it would be okay as long as she is gone.
I should have known it was too good to be true. My principal kind of mentioned to me at the end of last year that even though I’d been rehired for this year, I couldn’t count on anything for the next year. She said that people like Marilyn don’t just disappear, and that even if she gave me great evaluations, Marilyn’s lies could cost me my job. Well, my principal was right so far- Marilyn will be back this year. No mentor coordinator has been hired yet, but she will be serving as a consultant for that person. The current union president told me that it will be more than just that; she’s working with the administration and has some kind of agenda. Apparently they’re letting her do what she wants because in return, she will help them with contract negotiations next year. This is her area of expertise- she negotiated our last contract and it is awesome. So if she is on the other side this time, we’re in trouble.
Anyway, the point is that as soon as I heard she would still be around, I felt instantly sick. I’m just not used to someone actively disliking me, trying to ruin my career. I thought I had made peace with the situation. Last year, when the problems started, my mom reminded me to pray for her, and it really helped me. Instead of anger, I started to feel sorry for her. How sad to be retiring and not realize that people can’t wait to get rid of you. Everyone pretends to be her friend, but no one likes her, they’re just afraid of her. She thinks one of the other 6th grade teachers is one of her closest friends, but even that teacher doesn’t like her; she just a nice Christian lady who is kind to everyone. So my prayers on her behalf were genuine; I honestly felt sad for her and prayed that God would work in her life to change her attitude. Obviously, she must be a very unhappy person. I also prayed for the strength to forgive her, which I honestly did. I didn’t realize it till I saw her at Charity’s wedding. I approached her, said hello, complimented her outfit choice, asked about her summer, and realized I was not just being fake-nice. I honestly felt no animosity toward her at that point. God is so good! It amazes me that He was able to turn around all my anger.
But now, just when I thought everything would be okay, it looks like I’m going to have to deal with all this again. Hopefully, what I learned last year will help me get through this year. I remember reading a psalm about dealing with your enemies, and it talked about being blameless. I realized that I need to make sure I'm blameless; I need to make sure I do everything the way I'm supposed to, and God will take care of the rest. I'm just so unhappy with this situation. All I want to do is teach; I hate that politics get in the way.
On a brighter note, I asked Charity if she’d be willing to meet with me once a week after school and pray for our students. When I remember to do this, I feel such a difference in my classroom. I think it will help to be more intentional about this. Charity likes the idea, and we might invite a few other teachers, too.
I should have known it was too good to be true. My principal kind of mentioned to me at the end of last year that even though I’d been rehired for this year, I couldn’t count on anything for the next year. She said that people like Marilyn don’t just disappear, and that even if she gave me great evaluations, Marilyn’s lies could cost me my job. Well, my principal was right so far- Marilyn will be back this year. No mentor coordinator has been hired yet, but she will be serving as a consultant for that person. The current union president told me that it will be more than just that; she’s working with the administration and has some kind of agenda. Apparently they’re letting her do what she wants because in return, she will help them with contract negotiations next year. This is her area of expertise- she negotiated our last contract and it is awesome. So if she is on the other side this time, we’re in trouble.
Anyway, the point is that as soon as I heard she would still be around, I felt instantly sick. I’m just not used to someone actively disliking me, trying to ruin my career. I thought I had made peace with the situation. Last year, when the problems started, my mom reminded me to pray for her, and it really helped me. Instead of anger, I started to feel sorry for her. How sad to be retiring and not realize that people can’t wait to get rid of you. Everyone pretends to be her friend, but no one likes her, they’re just afraid of her. She thinks one of the other 6th grade teachers is one of her closest friends, but even that teacher doesn’t like her; she just a nice Christian lady who is kind to everyone. So my prayers on her behalf were genuine; I honestly felt sad for her and prayed that God would work in her life to change her attitude. Obviously, she must be a very unhappy person. I also prayed for the strength to forgive her, which I honestly did. I didn’t realize it till I saw her at Charity’s wedding. I approached her, said hello, complimented her outfit choice, asked about her summer, and realized I was not just being fake-nice. I honestly felt no animosity toward her at that point. God is so good! It amazes me that He was able to turn around all my anger.
But now, just when I thought everything would be okay, it looks like I’m going to have to deal with all this again. Hopefully, what I learned last year will help me get through this year. I remember reading a psalm about dealing with your enemies, and it talked about being blameless. I realized that I need to make sure I'm blameless; I need to make sure I do everything the way I'm supposed to, and God will take care of the rest. I'm just so unhappy with this situation. All I want to do is teach; I hate that politics get in the way.
On a brighter note, I asked Charity if she’d be willing to meet with me once a week after school and pray for our students. When I remember to do this, I feel such a difference in my classroom. I think it will help to be more intentional about this. Charity likes the idea, and we might invite a few other teachers, too.
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