Have you ever had to break up with a friend? It’s a lot like ending a dating relationship. You realize that it’s just not working; you’re too different. The other person’s flaws are just too much for you- lying, name-calling, manipulation, tantrums, rudeness, etc. It’s hard because you see her good traits, too- that’s why you became friends in the first place. When she tells you to be quiet because you’re loud, or cuts in line at Space Mountain, or lies about something insignificant, you remind yourself of those positive traits, and that we all have our faults. Who are you to judge? But sometimes, people are just not compatible. Maybe some people can live with this girl’s faults, but you can’t handle them all. And so you have to end the relationship.
It’s hard because you know it’s going to hurt her, and that’s the last thing you want to do. Ideally, you would just stop hanging out outside of work, then let the texting and phone calls taper off too, until you just have a polite, superficial relationship. Then no one’s feelings would be hurt; it just didn’t work out. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen this way.
Florida was wonderful, and I will write about that later. The only problem was my friend’s behavior. It was so outrageously awful, and yet, not surprising. When she caused a scene at a restaurant at MGM, I knew our friendship was over. The drama, however, is not nearly over.
While still in Florida, I informed her that I needed a break. Usually I just need some time to cool down and then I can get over my annoyance. But there was no break. Sunday morning she called me six times in less than ten minutes and sent me multiple texts as well, informing me how “unbelievably selfish” I am. I didn’t respond. (When someone is throwing a tantrum, you’re supposed to ignore, right?) My plan was to contact her later that night after she calmed down. But about 40 minutes later, there was a knock at my door. She knocked on my door for at least 20 minutes. (I’m not sure exactly how long; I took a shower to drown out the knocking.) I was beyond irritated at that point. So, that evening, I wrote her a short email informing her that I could not maintain our friendship. I listed the behaviors that have been particularly troubling because she honestly wanted to know what she’d done. I ended by requesting that we have a polite, professional relationship. Apparently she does not check her email often, because she texted again after school today, wanting to talk and thinking that this was all just about her behavior in the restaurant. I let her know that I had emailed her, and haven’t heard back yet.
I’m starting to feel really guilty. I didn’t want to hurt her. I miss her, but not enough to want to continue the friendship. Part of it is seeing how she treats another friend of ours. They have been friends longer, and I was afraid that was my future. But my philosophy is “Love Wins.” She has so many problems, and I’m not really showing her love by giving up on the friendship.
At this point, I feel guilty, but I’m not sure what I can really do about it. The damage has been done, and now I just want it all to be over. Everyone teases me about being a drama queen, but I hate this kind of drama. I just want to pretend it never happened. But I’m sure there’s much more drama in store after she reads the email I sent.
Maybe now is the time to fulfill that high school fantasy of moving to Friendsville, Maryland.
It’s hard because you know it’s going to hurt her, and that’s the last thing you want to do. Ideally, you would just stop hanging out outside of work, then let the texting and phone calls taper off too, until you just have a polite, superficial relationship. Then no one’s feelings would be hurt; it just didn’t work out. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen this way.
Florida was wonderful, and I will write about that later. The only problem was my friend’s behavior. It was so outrageously awful, and yet, not surprising. When she caused a scene at a restaurant at MGM, I knew our friendship was over. The drama, however, is not nearly over.
While still in Florida, I informed her that I needed a break. Usually I just need some time to cool down and then I can get over my annoyance. But there was no break. Sunday morning she called me six times in less than ten minutes and sent me multiple texts as well, informing me how “unbelievably selfish” I am. I didn’t respond. (When someone is throwing a tantrum, you’re supposed to ignore, right?) My plan was to contact her later that night after she calmed down. But about 40 minutes later, there was a knock at my door. She knocked on my door for at least 20 minutes. (I’m not sure exactly how long; I took a shower to drown out the knocking.) I was beyond irritated at that point. So, that evening, I wrote her a short email informing her that I could not maintain our friendship. I listed the behaviors that have been particularly troubling because she honestly wanted to know what she’d done. I ended by requesting that we have a polite, professional relationship. Apparently she does not check her email often, because she texted again after school today, wanting to talk and thinking that this was all just about her behavior in the restaurant. I let her know that I had emailed her, and haven’t heard back yet.
I’m starting to feel really guilty. I didn’t want to hurt her. I miss her, but not enough to want to continue the friendship. Part of it is seeing how she treats another friend of ours. They have been friends longer, and I was afraid that was my future. But my philosophy is “Love Wins.” She has so many problems, and I’m not really showing her love by giving up on the friendship.
At this point, I feel guilty, but I’m not sure what I can really do about it. The damage has been done, and now I just want it all to be over. Everyone teases me about being a drama queen, but I hate this kind of drama. I just want to pretend it never happened. But I’m sure there’s much more drama in store after she reads the email I sent.
Maybe now is the time to fulfill that high school fantasy of moving to Friendsville, Maryland.
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