Lil' Sis's birthday is this week, so I let her choose what she wanted to do on Saturday. We had lunch at Olive Garden and went to the zoo. She is turning 11 and has never been to a zoo before.
She has a cold, and I noticed she looked tired at lunch, so I asked if the cold was keeping her up at night. She misunderstood and said she has to sleep with her windows open, like that explained it. I said that her street seemed pretty quiet, and she looked at me like I was nuts. She said the gunshots keep her up. She went on to tell me there are two things she hates about her neighborhood- the gunshots and the grown men who won't leave her alone when she walks places.
She also mentioned that her brother's been in jail for a while now, but she's not sure why. He's 19. She said her family's been very sad because there was a whole family shot in Englewood recently, and the son was one of her brother's friends.
I'm glad she opened up, but it was still hard to listen to all this. I'm determined that she is not going to stay in that neighborhood living that kind of life. Next year I'm going to start working with her to bring up her grades so she can get into a good high school. I worry because she has learning disabilities in reading and math and hates school. I have to figure out how to change that attitude.
I've realized yet another difference between poverty and middle class. In middle class families, the parents' lives usually revolve around the child. They intentionally create opportunities and learning experiences for their child. In poverty, parents love their children (of course), but the children's lives revolve around their parents' lives. This isn't because the parents are selfish, it's out of necessity. For example, many of my students' parents work second shift, which means they're not there when their kids get home from school. It also means that the kids can't participate in sports or extracurricular clubs because they have no transportation. They are just trying to get by; they aren't able to create the same kinds of learning experiences as middle class parents. My little sister is loved and has a big family- there's always someone around. But she's just kind of... there. Everyone's doing their own thing, including her. It's so different from what I grew up with in the suburbs.
She has a cold, and I noticed she looked tired at lunch, so I asked if the cold was keeping her up at night. She misunderstood and said she has to sleep with her windows open, like that explained it. I said that her street seemed pretty quiet, and she looked at me like I was nuts. She said the gunshots keep her up. She went on to tell me there are two things she hates about her neighborhood- the gunshots and the grown men who won't leave her alone when she walks places.
She also mentioned that her brother's been in jail for a while now, but she's not sure why. He's 19. She said her family's been very sad because there was a whole family shot in Englewood recently, and the son was one of her brother's friends.
I'm glad she opened up, but it was still hard to listen to all this. I'm determined that she is not going to stay in that neighborhood living that kind of life. Next year I'm going to start working with her to bring up her grades so she can get into a good high school. I worry because she has learning disabilities in reading and math and hates school. I have to figure out how to change that attitude.
I've realized yet another difference between poverty and middle class. In middle class families, the parents' lives usually revolve around the child. They intentionally create opportunities and learning experiences for their child. In poverty, parents love their children (of course), but the children's lives revolve around their parents' lives. This isn't because the parents are selfish, it's out of necessity. For example, many of my students' parents work second shift, which means they're not there when their kids get home from school. It also means that the kids can't participate in sports or extracurricular clubs because they have no transportation. They are just trying to get by; they aren't able to create the same kinds of learning experiences as middle class parents. My little sister is loved and has a big family- there's always someone around. But she's just kind of... there. Everyone's doing their own thing, including her. It's so different from what I grew up with in the suburbs.
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