Apparently we didn't learn our lesson from not reading the beta yesterday, because today we unintentionally ended up in an R-rated slot. There are four Hog canyons. We knew Hog 3 was the most difficult of the forks, so we chose Hog 1. The plan was for me and Allison to join the boys for a pleasant romp through a short canyon, then hike out along Hog Springs to one of our cars, which we'd spotted at the Hog Springs rest area. Then we would join Jess at camp (she skipped the canyon) and hang out and drink beer. Meanwhile, the boys would take the climber's exit and just knock out as many of the forks as they could in one day. We didn't have beta, but we knew enough to be sure we were dropping into the right canyon.
Allison panicked at the first downclimb, and I didn't blame her. The rest of us like that kind of thing, but Allison does not. She does not enjoy high stemming or elevator downclimbs or super skinny slots. She didn't ask for this!
(Although she certainly looks like she's enjoying herself here...)
There were two main sections of stemming. The first one wasn't super scary, it was just hard work. The worst part is always just getting yourself into position. Once you feel secure, you just kind of scooch along. There were a few places to stop and rest, so it wasn't that bad.
After inching past Jack, I had to scoot under Bret. The walls were getting further apart, but I could could see a ledge about the width of my foot that I would be able to stand on. I was so stinkin' relieved to get to that ledge and take a breather.
Meanwhile, Allison was having a panic attack about this situation, and rightfully so! She had no previous stemming experience, and this had high penalties and little room for error. I couldn't actually see everything that happened, but I think what she did is rappelled about 20 down to the bottom, which was super narrow.
(It was so tight her helmet got her stuck!)
(Looking up at the rappel)
There were a few more quick drops after this. I set up rappels and continued to scout ahead while Allison negotiated that last terrifying section of stemming from the ledge over to the chokestone. I felt like crying when I had to do it, so I can only imagine how she felt. The boys actually set up a zip line for her!
(This girl Cannot. Even.)
Luckily, this was the end of the high stemming. There were a few more obstacles, but nothing like what we'd just seen.
(Bret looking like a badass)
But those crazy boys... After 7.5 hours in Hog 1, they decided to do a quick run of Hogwarts! Allison and I were just totally destroyed, so we headed back to camp to hang out with Jess. We stopped by Sandthrax (the campground) on the way, looking for a canyoneering buddy of mine from Vegas who was also in the area. We didn't find him, but we did find a group from Boise who had done Hog 1 the day before. They read in one website's beta that the canyon was "beginner friendly."
"That was some bullshit!" the guy exclaimed.
This was SUCH a crazy day! When we looked up beta for the canyon, this is what we found:
LOLOL. Allison is a badass for making it through, despite her fear. I am so beat up, but already looking forward to the next canyon.
Allison panicked at the first downclimb, and I didn't blame her. The rest of us like that kind of thing, but Allison does not. She does not enjoy high stemming or elevator downclimbs or super skinny slots. She didn't ask for this!
The canyon got progressively harder. Jack (Allison's boyfriend) is really wonderful about setting up rappels using himself as the anchor, which means that Allison doesn't have to downclimb everything. But the most challenging part of this canyon wasn't the downclimbs, it was the high stemming.
(The beginning of the canyon, before things got stressful)
There were two main sections of stemming. The first one wasn't super scary, it was just hard work. The worst part is always just getting yourself into position. Once you feel secure, you just kind of scooch along. There were a few places to stop and rest, so it wasn't that bad.
But poor Allison... I heard her dry heaving at the top. Bret stayed back with her and guided her through it. I felt terrible for her because there was no way to make it easier... She just had to suck it up and do it.
The canyon stayed skinny after this, but we were hoping that section was the crux of it.
Nope.
The next section really challenged my limits. I was in my "zone of proximal development." :) The first hurdle was stemming over to Jack, who was perched on a chokestone. He put me on rope because I was worried that my legs weren't long enough to hold me up on the opposite wall. Once I got to Jack, I realized I didn't need the rope. I just had to not look down and concentrate on one move at a time. I recalled an article I just read about choosing a mantra for running. I figured it applied to this situation, too, and started mumbling, "Imma make this canyon my bitch."
The guys kept asking, "What did you say?" "Are you all right?"
I'm fine, thank you, just using some positive self-talk to get through a terrifying moment.
The canyon stayed skinny after this, but we were hoping that section was the crux of it.
Nope.
The next section really challenged my limits. I was in my "zone of proximal development." :) The first hurdle was stemming over to Jack, who was perched on a chokestone. He put me on rope because I was worried that my legs weren't long enough to hold me up on the opposite wall. Once I got to Jack, I realized I didn't need the rope. I just had to not look down and concentrate on one move at a time. I recalled an article I just read about choosing a mantra for running. I figured it applied to this situation, too, and started mumbling, "Imma make this canyon my bitch."
The guys kept asking, "What did you say?" "Are you all right?"
I'm fine, thank you, just using some positive self-talk to get through a terrifying moment.
After inching past Jack, I had to scoot under Bret. The walls were getting further apart, but I could could see a ledge about the width of my foot that I would be able to stand on. I was so stinkin' relieved to get to that ledge and take a breather.
Meanwhile, Allison was having a panic attack about this situation, and rightfully so! She had no previous stemming experience, and this had high penalties and little room for error. I couldn't actually see everything that happened, but I think what she did is rappelled about 20 down to the bottom, which was super narrow.
She was able to walk for a few feet, but then it got too narrow to continue. So Bret (still stemming higher up) sent down a handline and helped pull her up about five feet so she could stem closer to the ground. She finally made it to the ledge I'd been resting on and was so frazzled that Bret (the straight edge Mormon guy) got her a cigarette.
The crappy thing about this ledge was that we still weren't done with the tricky section. The next step was making it over to a chokestone that served as an anchor for a 50 foot rappel. Colton (Bret's brother-in-law) was already there, and there was only room for one more person. That person was me, and I sure wasn't carrying any rope through there. Somehow Jack, at the very back of the group, had ended up with all three ropes. Colton and I set up the rappel while Allison smoked her cigarette. It was a beautiful rappel, one of my favorite spots in the canyon. Unfortunately for Colton, I had shredded the seat of my pants AND my underpants, so he got quite the view of my bare, bloody butt while providing a belay. Poor guy.
The crappy thing about this ledge was that we still weren't done with the tricky section. The next step was making it over to a chokestone that served as an anchor for a 50 foot rappel. Colton (Bret's brother-in-law) was already there, and there was only room for one more person. That person was me, and I sure wasn't carrying any rope through there. Somehow Jack, at the very back of the group, had ended up with all three ropes. Colton and I set up the rappel while Allison smoked her cigarette. It was a beautiful rappel, one of my favorite spots in the canyon. Unfortunately for Colton, I had shredded the seat of my pants AND my underpants, so he got quite the view of my bare, bloody butt while providing a belay. Poor guy.
There were a few more quick drops after this. I set up rappels and continued to scout ahead while Allison negotiated that last terrifying section of stemming from the ledge over to the chokestone. I felt like crying when I had to do it, so I can only imagine how she felt. The boys actually set up a zip line for her!
(Jack negotiates one of the "downclimbs" that was definitely a rappel for my short legs!)
Luckily, this was the end of the high stemming. There were a few more obstacles, but nothing like what we'd just seen.
By the time we got to the end of the canyon, the boys decided they were done with the Hogs and we all took the long exit to the Hog Springs rest area. It was not quite as pleasant as we'd imagined; more like bushwhacking through the jungles of 'Nam. Bret, Colton, and I finished the hike first and just laid down right on the sidewalk. I was so happy to be done.
But those crazy boys... After 7.5 hours in Hog 1, they decided to do a quick run of Hogwarts! Allison and I were just totally destroyed, so we headed back to camp to hang out with Jess. We stopped by Sandthrax (the campground) on the way, looking for a canyoneering buddy of mine from Vegas who was also in the area. We didn't find him, but we did find a group from Boise who had done Hog 1 the day before. They read in one website's beta that the canyon was "beginner friendly."
"That was some bullshit!" the guy exclaimed.
Our feelings exactly.
When we arrived back at our campsite, we had trouble even processing the scene. Jess was gone. Her car was gone. Their tent was gone.
What???
We drove to Hanksville and searched the restaurant and hotel parking lots. No sign of her. We couldn't believe she would just take off and leave her husband and brother in Utah!
When we got back to camp, she was there. She had gone hiking nearby. Whew! But what about the tent? we asked. The tent had been blown over and broken. They would have nowhere to sleep that night and had to head back to Phoenix.
When we arrived back at our campsite, we had trouble even processing the scene. Jess was gone. Her car was gone. Their tent was gone.
What???
We drove to Hanksville and searched the restaurant and hotel parking lots. No sign of her. We couldn't believe she would just take off and leave her husband and brother in Utah!
When we got back to camp, she was there. She had gone hiking nearby. Whew! But what about the tent? we asked. The tent had been blown over and broken. They would have nowhere to sleep that night and had to head back to Phoenix.
This was SUCH a crazy day! When we looked up beta for the canyon, this is what we found:
LOLOL. Allison is a badass for making it through, despite her fear. I am so beat up, but already looking forward to the next canyon.
*Photos by Bret... Follow him on Instagram at az_canyon
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