This weekend I went to Nina's parents' lake house with her and Sarah, and I think me and Nina's friendship is over. This has been a long time coming. I've tried so many times to talk to her about how I feel, how it seems like she doesn't respect me or even like me a lot of the time, but it's impossible to have a real conversation like this with her because she refuses to acknowledge her faults. And I don't think it's a conscious thing; Sarah and I agree that Nina is just completely non- self-aware. I really think she still blames me for something she believes I did almost 7 years ago; that's the only reason I can think of why she always believes the worst about me and doesn't respect me. The sad thing is that after all that stuff happened in the past, her boyfriend came to me and said he knew I hadn't done anything wrong because my supposed actions just didn't fit with what he knew about my character. That meant the world to me and it still hurts that Nina never realized that.
But anyway, it was just about the worst weekend ever. I am tired of being interrupted, made fun of, lectured, criticized, judged, and constantly called a bitch behind my back. Nina was already telling Sarah what a bitch I was being on the way to the lake house Friday night, and I honestly have no idea why. I was excited for a weekend away, ready to have a good time, and when she got in the car she started criticizing every word that came out of my mouth. Things went downhill from there. And I know it's not just my imagination- Sarah was going crazy, too. The problem is that Sarah just wants peace, so she bends over backwards trying to accommodate Nina. (And Nina is completely oblivious to this.) I come across as the bitch because, after an initial attempt to please Nina, I do what I want. Also, when she is constantly arguing with me, my reaction is to just shut down. I stop talking, and maybe I do become a bitch. She makes me feel like being as difficult and contrary as she is. I can't handle her constant negativity. Sarah tries to be understanding and reminds me that Nina lacks basic social skills, but it makes me crazy. I would love to keep a tally of how many times she calls things stupid or lame or says she doesn't like something. It's pretty unbelievable.
Sarah also tries really hard to put the things she wants on hold to please Nina. For example, Nina really wanted to see Couple's Retreat this weekend, so Sarah made sure that we did so Nina couldn't say, "The one thing I wanted to do, and we didn't do it." (This has been an issue in the past.) So as we were pulling away from the house on Sunday, Nina said the one thing she wanted to do was go out in the rowboat, and she didn't get to do it. I offered to turn around, and Sarah said she would love to go row boating, but Nina insisted it didn't matter, then kept complaining about it. I thought Sarah was going to punch her in the face, especially since Sarah had mentioned multiple times throughout the weekend that she wanted to go in the rowboat. She tried to point this out to Nina, but Nina just argued and didn't even get what Sarah was trying to say. So at least it's not just me.
I think that a lot of this behavior must be caused by her unhappiness; that's the only thing I can think of. But I can't deal with it anymore. She refuses to even admit that she is unhappy. People have told me I need to talk to her, and I've tried. There's been no progress for years. I thought things were pretty much over, but then she's actually been cool lately when we hang out. I got my hopes up (despite my friends' warnings not to), but things haven't really changed. So I'm done. I can't be friends with someone who regularly calls me a bitch and always thinks the worst of me. I will still respond to her texts and phone calls, but I will not initiate contact. And if there is a group outing, I'll go (maybe), but there won't be anymore hanging out just the two of us. I'm tired of being in a friendship that constantly has me upset and stressed.
And just typing all this and making this decision to separate myself from her brings me a lot of peace, so I know this is the right choice. It will be hard, and she won't understand, but it's for the best.
But anyway, it was just about the worst weekend ever. I am tired of being interrupted, made fun of, lectured, criticized, judged, and constantly called a bitch behind my back. Nina was already telling Sarah what a bitch I was being on the way to the lake house Friday night, and I honestly have no idea why. I was excited for a weekend away, ready to have a good time, and when she got in the car she started criticizing every word that came out of my mouth. Things went downhill from there. And I know it's not just my imagination- Sarah was going crazy, too. The problem is that Sarah just wants peace, so she bends over backwards trying to accommodate Nina. (And Nina is completely oblivious to this.) I come across as the bitch because, after an initial attempt to please Nina, I do what I want. Also, when she is constantly arguing with me, my reaction is to just shut down. I stop talking, and maybe I do become a bitch. She makes me feel like being as difficult and contrary as she is. I can't handle her constant negativity. Sarah tries to be understanding and reminds me that Nina lacks basic social skills, but it makes me crazy. I would love to keep a tally of how many times she calls things stupid or lame or says she doesn't like something. It's pretty unbelievable.
Sarah also tries really hard to put the things she wants on hold to please Nina. For example, Nina really wanted to see Couple's Retreat this weekend, so Sarah made sure that we did so Nina couldn't say, "The one thing I wanted to do, and we didn't do it." (This has been an issue in the past.) So as we were pulling away from the house on Sunday, Nina said the one thing she wanted to do was go out in the rowboat, and she didn't get to do it. I offered to turn around, and Sarah said she would love to go row boating, but Nina insisted it didn't matter, then kept complaining about it. I thought Sarah was going to punch her in the face, especially since Sarah had mentioned multiple times throughout the weekend that she wanted to go in the rowboat. She tried to point this out to Nina, but Nina just argued and didn't even get what Sarah was trying to say. So at least it's not just me.
I think that a lot of this behavior must be caused by her unhappiness; that's the only thing I can think of. But I can't deal with it anymore. She refuses to even admit that she is unhappy. People have told me I need to talk to her, and I've tried. There's been no progress for years. I thought things were pretty much over, but then she's actually been cool lately when we hang out. I got my hopes up (despite my friends' warnings not to), but things haven't really changed. So I'm done. I can't be friends with someone who regularly calls me a bitch and always thinks the worst of me. I will still respond to her texts and phone calls, but I will not initiate contact. And if there is a group outing, I'll go (maybe), but there won't be anymore hanging out just the two of us. I'm tired of being in a friendship that constantly has me upset and stressed.
And just typing all this and making this decision to separate myself from her brings me a lot of peace, so I know this is the right choice. It will be hard, and she won't understand, but it's for the best.
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