I don't usually consider myself a feminist. I mean, I want women to be considered equal to men, but I'm not like some of my friends, who are always ranting about the patriarchy. I'm fine with traditional gender roles. I like to wear pearls and dresses and play the hostess. I don't do well with violence and can't handle scary movies. I like when guys are gentleman and insist on walking you to your car late at night and act protective.
But this trip I'm taking has me wondering if maybe there is a feminist lurking somewhere inside me.
Because I get SO MANY comments about being alone in the woods and the bad stuff that could happen to me. Some people have legitimate concerns, and I don't mind those. But often, there's this patronizing tone, and the implication is that I'm a silly girl and have no idea what could go wrong or how to deal with it. Gwen Stefani has become my new BFF.
Would people be making all these comments if I was a boy?
I don't think so.
What annoys me about that is that I have guy friends in the city that would have NO IDEA what to do out in the wilderness. Being a guy doesn't automatically make you prepared to take on grizzlies, navigate through the forest, or climb a mountain.
The best compliment I ever got was from my friend Lauren back in college. We were on tour in New Orleans, staying at a hotel in a really shady neighborhood. I was hanging out with a group of friends and decided I wanted to go do some shopping and would meet up with them later. The guys were all concerned and tried to stop me, saying it was a strange city and a bad neighborhood, etc. And Lauren finally stepped in and said, "HEY! I would trust myself more with just Erin than with all of you guys put together." (Lauren lived next door to me that year. She knew that I spent a lot of time hanging out on the west side.)
I don't know everything. There are plenty of situations I'm sure I'll encounter where I'm not 100% sure what to do. But being a girl is not a handicap. I'll be all right. I need encouragement and pep talks, not pessimism and condescension.
Yesterday my parents said, "People keep asking us, 'Aren't you worried???' And we say, 'Yes, we're worried sick!'"
And I was like, next time someone says that to you, I need you to say, "Hell no! Our daughter's a total f-ing bad ass, and we trust her to handle whatever comes her way."
(This response would be especially interesting considering most of these conversations happen at church.) But I really think that, if I was a guy, a lot of these conversations wouldn't be happening.
I like being a girl, and I like being treated like a girl. But this is just a little too much.
But this trip I'm taking has me wondering if maybe there is a feminist lurking somewhere inside me.
Because I get SO MANY comments about being alone in the woods and the bad stuff that could happen to me. Some people have legitimate concerns, and I don't mind those. But often, there's this patronizing tone, and the implication is that I'm a silly girl and have no idea what could go wrong or how to deal with it. Gwen Stefani has become my new BFF.
Would people be making all these comments if I was a boy?
I don't think so.
What annoys me about that is that I have guy friends in the city that would have NO IDEA what to do out in the wilderness. Being a guy doesn't automatically make you prepared to take on grizzlies, navigate through the forest, or climb a mountain.
The best compliment I ever got was from my friend Lauren back in college. We were on tour in New Orleans, staying at a hotel in a really shady neighborhood. I was hanging out with a group of friends and decided I wanted to go do some shopping and would meet up with them later. The guys were all concerned and tried to stop me, saying it was a strange city and a bad neighborhood, etc. And Lauren finally stepped in and said, "HEY! I would trust myself more with just Erin than with all of you guys put together." (Lauren lived next door to me that year. She knew that I spent a lot of time hanging out on the west side.)
I don't know everything. There are plenty of situations I'm sure I'll encounter where I'm not 100% sure what to do. But being a girl is not a handicap. I'll be all right. I need encouragement and pep talks, not pessimism and condescension.
Yesterday my parents said, "People keep asking us, 'Aren't you worried???' And we say, 'Yes, we're worried sick!'"
And I was like, next time someone says that to you, I need you to say, "Hell no! Our daughter's a total f-ing bad ass, and we trust her to handle whatever comes her way."
(This response would be especially interesting considering most of these conversations happen at church.) But I really think that, if I was a guy, a lot of these conversations wouldn't be happening.
I like being a girl, and I like being treated like a girl. But this is just a little too much.
Comments
My second comment is a little more academic, though - actually, all feminism is, by definition, is believing that women have equal rights and deserve equal opportunities as men. Not super specific, and leaves plenty of room for your femininity...I think it's just that people who are more comfortable with a male-dominated social structure are less annoyed by it because it's not infringing on anything that you want personally. You will find more people identifying with feminism amongst those who have run into the annoying rules and obstacles that patriarchy puts in their paths.
And finally, for the record, I think you'll be fine out in the wilderness, from a combination of a little prep and a lot of natural scrappiness. :)