Accountability and a Milestone

I started running the day after I got back from my trip.

I had no desire to be a runner.  My only thought was staying in shape for Freeze Fest.  I can't afford the gym, but there is a huge park across the street with lots of paths.  Running seemed logical.  Plus I wanted to be able to run with Jason.  

I started the Couch to 5k program and kept it quiet, except for Jason and Kristin.  They know all my strengths and weaknesses.  With anyone else, I'd be embarrassed to celebrate 90 seconds of running, but they don't judge, just encourage.  I love getting the "Hell yeah!!!" texts from Jason.  

A week or two later, Jen and Paula started the same program.  I was excited to have more non-judgmental friends to talk about this with.

Within about the past week, I've started talking to more and more people.  And now this whole running thing is out of control.  

The hot triathlete upstairs wants to go running with me.  

Nina wants me to go for a 20 mile run on the Chicago river.

Joe wants to run a 5k with me.

Margaret is bringing me Runner's World magazines and talking about wearing the right shoes (I do not own running shoes) and cute outfits.  

Lisa and Sarah and Ann are trying to get me to sign up for some other races.

And all of a sudden it's this big thing, and there's all this pressure.  

I still don't want to be a runner.  I don't care if I ever run in a race.  My goals are still the same- run with Jason and have better endurance in the canyons.  

I want to go back into hiding and pretend this never happened.  I'm afraid that I'll get to a point where the program gets too hard, or I just want to give up or get tired of it, and I'll look like a huge failure to everyone.  

But there is some humor in the situation.  I realized today that I have a ridiculous number of accountability partners.  

Stacey and Emily are in my small group, and we all had the same goal of setting aside time each day to spend with God.  Leisa describes it as "date night with God."  So the three of us have been checking in with each other about that.  

I was talking to Paula yesterday and told her about a run last week where I almost passed out and realized it was probably because I hadn't had any water all day.  Paula, who is into whole foods and healthy eating, promised to hold me accountable for drinking more water.

Kristin took it upon herself to hold me accountable for doing push-ups.  (I didn't even ask for this one!!!)  She also does things like make me list three things I like about my body if I say something negative.

And now, Joe has jumped on the accountability bandwagon and is asking me about my running.

Today, when I texted Paula to jokingly complain about Joe's tough love, her response was, "Haha... Did you drink some water?"

Very funny.

As much as I would rather just fly under the radar, I have to admit I feel lucky to have so many people in my life who care about me and encourage me.  

And, I have exciting news.  

This week the program jumps from 5 minute intervals to 8 minutes to 20 minutes.  I laughed out loud at that one.  

Yesterday, I did the 5 minute intervals with no problem.

Today, I thought I *might* be able to do the 8 minutes.  I totally rocked it.  

After coming home and hanging out for a while, I couldn't stop thinking about those 20 minutes.  Joe is insisting that I text him on Wednesday to let him know how the 20 minute run goes.  He is being super sweet about it; I didn't want to check in with him until I was able to do it, and he said he'd consider anything over my longest time so far a success.  But still.  He is a triathlete.  I am embarrassed that he knew that 5 minutes was a victory for me and was starting to have even more anxiety about the 20 minutes.  

So I decided to try and get in a few more runs before Wednesday.  Tonight I thought I'd just try to run for 10 minutes and see how it went.  10 turned into 12, then 15, then I finally stopped at a little over 18 minutes.  If I can do 18 today, I can do 20 tomorrow.  I won't have to tell Joe that I suck and couldn't do it.

AND, that means that tonight, I ran over a mile for the first time in my whole life.  

I used to hate the days we'd run the mile in P.E. It was so traumatic.  I have been slow and awkward my whole life, even when I was thin.  After a few years, I stopped trying and adopted this flippant attitude where I refused to run at all.  I would say that I don't run unless it's from the cops.

So tonight was a huge victory for me.  Something I never thought I could do.  I am feeling pretty amazing right now.  I know one mile really isn't that big of a deal, but I'm going to give myself this one night of being proud of it before getting back to work tomorrow.