There are two things that have kept me Lutheran all these years: their emphasis on grace, and their beliefs about communion.
I've tried other churches: Episcopal, Mormon, non-denominational, Mennonite... but I keep coming back to the Lutheran church.
Honestly, I'd keep going to a Mennonite church if it was an option. I didn't agree with them on everything, but it's been the best fit for me so far. Unfortunately, as far as I know, there aren't really any good options for that in the city.
So I'm back at a Lutheran church. An LCMS church, to be specific.
Last week I was talked into going to a single's Bible study. Doesn't that sound awful? But Margaret is hard to say no to. She was all excited for me to meet some ex-Marine, super Christian guy who was leading the study that week. I was instructed to "Wear something skanky. Christian skanky."
I won't go into all the details, because it wasn't actually that bad. There were eight people there, but the two other girls left after the study, so that left me and five guys to go out for dinner.
But during the study (and even afterwards), I felt so uncomfortable. I realized that I was surrounded by people whose beliefs are VERY different from mine. I kept quiet this time (I'll be more vocal if I go back again, just didn't want to be too scandalous my first time there). I had a feeling that, if I admitted what I truly believe, they'd probably think I was going to hell.
I often feel like this in groups of Christians. This is why, when it comes to dating, Christianity is not one of the non-negotiables. Sometimes, I look at the Evangelicals and puzzle over how it's possible that we worship the same God. After feeling like such an outsider at this Bible study, it suddenly became very important to me to articulate my beliefs.
Here are some things I believe:
1. Jesus was a total f-ing bad-ass. (And you know I'd use the real f-word if we were talking in real life.) He was a perverse, troublemaking smart ass who loved everyone he met unconditionally and equally, with a love none of us can fully fathom. I am completely, head over heels, madly in love with him. The more I learn about Jesus, the more excited I am to call myself one of his followers.
2. At the center of my faith is the belief that Love Wins. This starts with Jesus' death on the cross. He came and lived a perfect life of love, and even though humans did their best to get in his way, his resurrection showed that Love wins. That's the way the universe works. Love trumps evil, violence, selfishness, and everything else. If this is the way of the world, that has a lot of implications for how I should be living my life. My goal is to live a life of love. To love people radically and outrageously. I want people to look at me and, as the song says, "know I'm a Christian by my love." However, I know that every day I miss opportunities to show this love. I'm trying pretty hard, but my best will never be enough. And that leads me to number three:
3. I'm just a sinner saved by grace. I do believe that we have sinful natures. I am so thankful that I don't have to try to earn favor with God, because I'd be totally screwed. However, the difference between me and a lot of Christians is what I believe constitutes sin. I don't believe that drinking, swearing, pre-marital sex, or homosexuality are sins. The biggest sin that I struggle with is selfishness, and I think that's what most sin comes down to. It's not about following a million rules, it's about loving others and doing good, and my own selfishness frequently gets in the way of that.
4. One common Christian belief is that our sin goes all the way back to Adam sinning in the Garden of Eden. Here's another place where I differ from many Christians- I don't believe that Adam and Eve actually existed. The Bible consists of many forms of literature- poetry, narrative, allegory, etc. I don't believe that a lot of those Old Testament stories need to be taken literally. What's important is the message. I can take the lesson from the story of Adam and Eve without having to believe that they were the first two humans and then have to try to reconcile that with evolution.
5. I don't believe that people of other faiths are going to hell. Even Martin Luther said it was possible we could get another chance after we die. I think we get an infinite number of chances to decide that we want to get in on what God is doing with the world. At the heart of Christianity is the belief that God loves us. It would be so inconsistent with His character to send us to hell for the rest of eternity for the decisions we make during our very short time on Earth. Honestly, if that's what God's about, I don't want any part of that. So, when it comes to other religions, I think there's probably some truth in all of them, and I think there's room for all of us to hang out with God.
6. My faith is messy. It is constantly being questioned, doubted, and revised. Ten years ago, I thought homosexuality was a sin and women shouldn't be pastors. (This was the result of attending Concordia and dating an Evangelical who watched Fox News.) Who knows where I'll be in another 10 years? This is why I especially love the Mennonites- they never claim to have all the answers. They talk about becoming comfortable with that tension and uncertainty. They are willing to rethink their views. I don't think God changes, but our understanding of Him can and should change. It's important to accept that we will never have all the answers, and that all the little details aren't really that important in the big scheme of things. Consubstantiation, transubstantiation... whatever. We're all at that table to party with God.
I may look back at this in ten years and cringe, but it felt important for me to define what I believe at this time.
I've tried other churches: Episcopal, Mormon, non-denominational, Mennonite... but I keep coming back to the Lutheran church.
Honestly, I'd keep going to a Mennonite church if it was an option. I didn't agree with them on everything, but it's been the best fit for me so far. Unfortunately, as far as I know, there aren't really any good options for that in the city.
So I'm back at a Lutheran church. An LCMS church, to be specific.
Last week I was talked into going to a single's Bible study. Doesn't that sound awful? But Margaret is hard to say no to. She was all excited for me to meet some ex-Marine, super Christian guy who was leading the study that week. I was instructed to "Wear something skanky. Christian skanky."
I won't go into all the details, because it wasn't actually that bad. There were eight people there, but the two other girls left after the study, so that left me and five guys to go out for dinner.
But during the study (and even afterwards), I felt so uncomfortable. I realized that I was surrounded by people whose beliefs are VERY different from mine. I kept quiet this time (I'll be more vocal if I go back again, just didn't want to be too scandalous my first time there). I had a feeling that, if I admitted what I truly believe, they'd probably think I was going to hell.
I often feel like this in groups of Christians. This is why, when it comes to dating, Christianity is not one of the non-negotiables. Sometimes, I look at the Evangelicals and puzzle over how it's possible that we worship the same God. After feeling like such an outsider at this Bible study, it suddenly became very important to me to articulate my beliefs.
Here are some things I believe:
1. Jesus was a total f-ing bad-ass. (And you know I'd use the real f-word if we were talking in real life.) He was a perverse, troublemaking smart ass who loved everyone he met unconditionally and equally, with a love none of us can fully fathom. I am completely, head over heels, madly in love with him. The more I learn about Jesus, the more excited I am to call myself one of his followers.
2. At the center of my faith is the belief that Love Wins. This starts with Jesus' death on the cross. He came and lived a perfect life of love, and even though humans did their best to get in his way, his resurrection showed that Love wins. That's the way the universe works. Love trumps evil, violence, selfishness, and everything else. If this is the way of the world, that has a lot of implications for how I should be living my life. My goal is to live a life of love. To love people radically and outrageously. I want people to look at me and, as the song says, "know I'm a Christian by my love." However, I know that every day I miss opportunities to show this love. I'm trying pretty hard, but my best will never be enough. And that leads me to number three:
3. I'm just a sinner saved by grace. I do believe that we have sinful natures. I am so thankful that I don't have to try to earn favor with God, because I'd be totally screwed. However, the difference between me and a lot of Christians is what I believe constitutes sin. I don't believe that drinking, swearing, pre-marital sex, or homosexuality are sins. The biggest sin that I struggle with is selfishness, and I think that's what most sin comes down to. It's not about following a million rules, it's about loving others and doing good, and my own selfishness frequently gets in the way of that.
4. One common Christian belief is that our sin goes all the way back to Adam sinning in the Garden of Eden. Here's another place where I differ from many Christians- I don't believe that Adam and Eve actually existed. The Bible consists of many forms of literature- poetry, narrative, allegory, etc. I don't believe that a lot of those Old Testament stories need to be taken literally. What's important is the message. I can take the lesson from the story of Adam and Eve without having to believe that they were the first two humans and then have to try to reconcile that with evolution.
5. I don't believe that people of other faiths are going to hell. Even Martin Luther said it was possible we could get another chance after we die. I think we get an infinite number of chances to decide that we want to get in on what God is doing with the world. At the heart of Christianity is the belief that God loves us. It would be so inconsistent with His character to send us to hell for the rest of eternity for the decisions we make during our very short time on Earth. Honestly, if that's what God's about, I don't want any part of that. So, when it comes to other religions, I think there's probably some truth in all of them, and I think there's room for all of us to hang out with God.
6. My faith is messy. It is constantly being questioned, doubted, and revised. Ten years ago, I thought homosexuality was a sin and women shouldn't be pastors. (This was the result of attending Concordia and dating an Evangelical who watched Fox News.) Who knows where I'll be in another 10 years? This is why I especially love the Mennonites- they never claim to have all the answers. They talk about becoming comfortable with that tension and uncertainty. They are willing to rethink their views. I don't think God changes, but our understanding of Him can and should change. It's important to accept that we will never have all the answers, and that all the little details aren't really that important in the big scheme of things. Consubstantiation, transubstantiation... whatever. We're all at that table to party with God.
I may look back at this in ten years and cringe, but it felt important for me to define what I believe at this time.
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