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Seriously?

Aaand, I'm no longer joking when I say I'm probably going to lose my job.

Again.

In my 8 years of teaching, I have been at 7 different schools.

Some of those moves were by choice. Some weren't.

I'm exhausted.

They're opening two charter schools in the town where I teach. Our enrollment is expected to take a huge hit. My principal has said twice now that she doesn't see how we could lost so many kids without having a RIF. And my friend heard the superintendent say today that she has to start preparing the list. We would find out in March.

I would, of course, want to go back to Phoenix. But it's honestly just not financially possible. I might actually qualify for economic hardship forbearance, because I think my student loan payments would be greater than 20% of my gross income. But even then... it would be really difficult. I did a budget the other day, and money would be SO tight. I'd have no gas money for canyoneering, or money for flights home. I'd barely be able to get by. I'd have to get a second job.

I'm going to trust God's plan for my life. So far, I've seen a purpose in everything that's happened in terms of employment, and I have no regrets.

But I am just so tired. The thought of moving across the country again is overwhelming. And as much as I miss Phoenix, it was so hard to be away from my family. Being dropped off at the airport to leave them was the worst feeling in the world.

Right now, I just want to get in bed and pull the covers over my head. And I might give in to that for tonight. But then I'm going to try to calm down and wait till I hear something more definite. The key word there is try.

You know, I never had anxiety till I started teaching. Seriously.

Comments

Anonymous said…
That's so crazy Erin!! We will be praying for you. -Abby

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